I force myself to be harsh to him...
talk alot of harsh words to hurt him..
after saying those words..tears started to drop..
because this is not me...i have not used harsh words on him for these years..
it hurts ...really hurts and my heart feel so pain...
but i know that i have got no choice but to move on...
because he cant change and i cant accept this kind of life style
best for everybody ...i guess this is the only way.
but really it's very hurting.
i am not sure after losting him what will my life be ?
but for him ..i think it would be better because debt can clear and can
gain back his freedom ..and to go overseas to work...etc
but it's just really very hurt...
and tears kept dropping down.
after housing matters , next got to settle our marriage problem...
i feel so stress... i feel so pressure.
and i have to act like i dont love him anymore...
i really dont know..
but someone was telling me...would you rather your child got a bad example to
follow and have a unhappy mum or would you rather he dont have this father
but got a happy mum to live with ? quite true...but it just hurts !
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3 comments:
Appleteas,
It's almost impossible for one to change another person...
It's either u accept it or leave it...
If holding on is so painful....
Y not let each other have another chance in life...
Just listen to yr heart...
We have an answer in the heart...
相信雨后有彩虹。。。
可是黑夜彩虹更美！
For once Alice is so sensible. I agree with wat she said. It takes the experience to know and you know.
Appleteas, I have always say you and me are very alike and what you are trying to do is what I am trying too.
Your hurt and pain I also go through. What you think and blame yourself is also what I do to myself. Is so hard to do all that because that's not what we are and we keep force ourselves to do all that.
What Alice and Lotus says is true and I am sure you also know all that too...but is the doing part that is very hard...so much hurt, so much pain, so many doubts...I have no courage to look for counsellor but maybe you can consider that because I think you are much braver than me...Really hope things will get better for you. Remember you still have your boy who you love and loves you. Jia You!!!!!!
Ying
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