SUMMARY OF MY 2008..

在这年我真的学到很多。
一月时动了个小手术。
二月身体不好。
三月老公常不在家。
四月就发现了他的婚外情，我整个世界塌了。
当时的心情是非笔墨所能形容的。
五六月是活在痛苦中。
七月份心情比较平静，也有想过要离婚。
八月份该走的人回国了，一切平静了下来，
我也在这时开始了我的部落格。
九十月，受伤的心还在流血，但是日子依然要过。
十一月开始＄出了问题。
现在我只想好好的带大我的宝贝，陪老公度过难关。也许我很笨…
Will start my 2009 afresh ...

I wish everyone good luck and good health ...

真受不了...

电脑又坏了…
真受不了他，三天两头的把电脑搞坏了。
只好麻烦表弟来帮我看看。
表弟昨晚来了，宣告电脑‘死’了，
死亡原因需要他搬回家，解剖了才知道…
晚上和表弟喝咖啡，才知道他已经决定到越南工作。
听了之后心里难免担心，难过…
但是他已经长大了，有自己的想法，谁也没办法阻止他。
只依依告诉他，将来他所会面对的问题…
还有叫他如果是因为女朋友而过去，那真的要认真想想。
如果是真心要工作，那就要全力以赴，才会对得起表姐夫…
还有家里父母是否赞同？
我认为，
他的妈妈肯定心里有很多感触，
以前她都是喋喋不休的，
但是这次她沉默了许多，
上次的聚会她也没提起…

真的每个人扮演着太多的角色，
就说我的角色，
女儿，妹妹，媳妇，老婆，妈妈，表姐，等等…
要做好每个角色，哪那么容易？

昨晚就快气死，天啊！
这个年代还有那么封建思想…
老公的家庭是那种男人十指不动，
女人要懂得相夫教子，
要出外打拼，
要做家务…真是他娘的！@$$^$#%&!#!@$(*&$%#
受不了！
男人就不能做家务吗？
这都是因为他爱自己比爱我多…
看来我一个月的假期完蛋了。

爱.....

爱是发自内心的。。。
爱是一种付出。。。
爱是去做某件事有助于另一个人实现他的潜能。。。
爱一个人并不代表拥有他。。。
爱他只是希望他过的更好。。。
爱也是一种伤害。。。
爱可以让人失去自我。。。

不知道...

距离最后一天在这公司的日子只有两天…
不知不觉我已经在这工作了4年！
心里总有点不舍…
回想刚开始上班时，同事们的脸都是‘黑黑’的。
好不容易大家熟了，唉！
没办法，我有自己的理想…我要去寻找自己的梦！
会不会后悔我不知道…

家里，
儿子现在很皮，尤其在外婆家更皮。
不知道要怎么教好他。

没有上班的心情…

前几天吃太多了，感觉好想胖了好多。
唉！
今天一阵天在烦…烦钱，烦他。
真的这条路是越走越窄了。
但还是要走下去…
好担心，不知道他会不会狗急跳墙又做出乱七八糟的事来。
千万不要，要不然就一辈子，玩完了。

Xmas eve and day !

I had a wonderful xmas eve...went to " The Line " for buffet dinner with 2 other friends and hubby...It was a treat from the friend...but i still found it very very expensive...4 person spend around $700+.... too costly rite...
The buffet spread was very very grand...with all sort of seafoods,sushimi,meat etc..

After dinner went to dragon fly with a few friends to count down...suddenly realise it been so long that i never spend christmas with hubby coz he is always away...and i am really very happy to spend this special day to count down with him...

Christmas day ...went to a party which was at my cousin house...i am very close to her family members...and it was more like a gathering...warm and fun...but seeing my nanny ...it hurts..coz she is now so skinny ...after the food session , they cont with a majong session...and that end my christmas day...

Christmas eve !!!

Dear friends...
It's christmas eve...
May everyone have a happy holiday !
Today i bring my son to my office...and now he is sitting beside me
got so much sweets and gift..
Anyway i have already tender in my resignation yesterday...
and will be starting in a new company in feb...
All the best to me too !

lyrics...

(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything
and everything and I will always care. Through weakness
and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

今天的心情是烂的。

发现自己是不开心的…
原来是强颜欢笑罢了。
因为有一直再关心我的人在读我的部落，我不想让她们担心，所以少点写些不开心的。


其实我这个人真的很会忍…
忍的程度是没人想象到的。
也许有一天我的尸体被解剖了，才发现原来我的心脏早已腐烂了。
忍字是心上叉了一把刀，流了一滴血。

今天儿子有Xmas party，需要带点吃的和小礼物，
真的还好他有我这个妈妈帮他…
昨晚他爸还说随便买个sandwich当礼物，真的可笑…
先生：不是什么事都可可以随便的。
对我来说东西不需要贵,但是一定要用心去挑选。
相信儿子一定开心。
他很贴心还会说：妈妈对不起，今天的party你不能去。
其实重要的是他快乐。

Dec ...雨季！

This is the month that i am always late for work..coz it's so cooling esp in the morning...i don't even wan to wake up...
My sunday was whole day with my little one...I think i am a little crazy..
Coz one moment i can laugh with him but another moment i can scold him upside down..
Yesterday i bring him for shopping then bring him to mos burger
after that swimming and hair cut..
After so much activities..i wan him to do some homework..
but end up he take him own sweet time , one hour to do one page...
I was so angry and nearly cane him...
But i overlook that he may be too tired after so much activities..
The thing that came to my mind is , he is not interested to study...
With this kind of attitude , what will he grow up to be...
This though become so scarey that i scream at him like a mad dog..
After screaming , i realise he may be too tired ...so i cool myself down and talk to him nicely and allow him to do it the next day ...
I really think i am a crazy mother...
I wan him to study and be a better person , coz myself education level is not high..
and in this social u need to at least have a basic education level...
And seeing his father family side ...i am really worry ..coz it's all in the blood..
I think i have to go slow on my little one...
I am lucky to have this son...
He is my everything...

As for the other one , sorry to say but he is a disappointment...
He still don't learn from mistake...
I really not sure why am i still holding on to a person that don change...
Am i under some love spell?
Hee hee , crazy rite...
见到鬼， 还不怕黑。。。
Just don test my patience..
Come to one day when i finally wake up ...nothing can change my mind...

Come to think of it , THE POWER OF LOVE ...is really very scarey...
It can really change a person...
Those that love more will get hurt the most...
And i really hope my cousin will come to know what is more important to him?
And i am a very good example ...can't he see it...
Still want to follow my foot step...
Love really can blind a person..


And who am i to say what is rite or wrong...
I am just a mess !!!

My thoughts ...

When a person make mistakes.....
he or she will not only be the one suffering.....
It's the whole family suffer .....
Unless you live alone in this planet.....

When a person make mistakes.....
Face it , don't kept thinking of escape.....
Coz it will bring burden to others.....

When a person make mistakes.....
Learn from it .....
Don't keep making the same mistakes.....
Again and again .....
Coz very soon people will not even care.....

------------------------------------------------------------------

For my cyber friends ...

Alice ... Things happen for a reason...
When it comes there is no way to escape...
You may be facing lots of pain now
But you will over come sooner or later...
Coz in this world ...there is no such things as
谁没有谁不能活！
Stay strong , it's his lost ... not yours !

Lotus ... Keep posting...coz your post is wonderful !
It's my medicine...

Snow...your design are really great...

邱妈妈..i read your posting too...

------------------------------------------------------------------

For myself ...

My favourite sentence for 2008...
" THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON..."
前面的路，不容易走。。
有些事，不由得我来选择，
但我不会选择怨恨。
毕竟爱一个人很难，恨一个人也很难。
怨恨只会让人遮蔽了双眼，看不清路的方向，
伤害自己的同时亦伤害了爱自己的人。
请不要让我有机会在心碎。。因为等到有一天心碎了。。说什么都没用了。

The person who love more , will be the person who hurt most ...
好像周慧敏说的：“这都是因为你不够爱我！”
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏 ，永远是调味品。。
没有人知道这路， 我还需要走多久。。
但我会勇敢的走下去。。
不管结局会是什么。。

敬爱的'Uncle commando'去世了。

人生如戏…这句话一点也没错。
昨晚回到家听家公说他的一个好朋友在楼下暴毙了…
原来他口中的这个人就是'uncle commando'.
虽然他是家公的好朋友，但是我和他也蛮熟的。
听了之后心里难免会难过…
一个好好的人，突然间去了。
听说他是咳嗽了两个星期，有看医生但一直没有气色，
昨天决定要去医院看病，谁知在等候亲友的车时，在楼下闭目养神时，死了，现年62。
真的人算不如天算…
最残的是他拥有4个孩子，由于自年轻时已离婚，现在没一个孩子肯送终。
真的人都死了，就让他安息吧！
人活着的时间不长，留着愁恨又何苦呢？
昨晚到现在脑海里一直复现他的影子。

he always ride his bicycle...
也许人家的家事我不了解，这只是我的想法罢了。
今日不知明日事，真的每天要过的没有遗憾。

明年会更好！

这几天好闷，
因为年底到了，
终是感到做什么事都提不起精神，
也许“电”已经用完了，需要充电了。
我个人每年要过了华人新年才会生龙活虎，哈哈！
不知道是否有人和我一样？
现在本人好象行尸走肉。
明年要去新的环境了，不知道自己可不可以胜任。
看着办吧！

天意..love this song

谁在乎我的心里有多苦
谁在意我的明天去何处
这条路究竟多少崎岖 多少坎坷途
我和你早已没有回头路
我的爱藏不住
任凭世间无情的摆布
我不怕痛不怕输
只怕再多努力也无助
如果说一切都是天意
一切都是命运 终究已注定
是否能再多爱一天
能再多看一眼
伤会少一点
如果说一切都是天意
一切都是命运
谁也逃不离
无情无爱此生又何必
无情无爱此生我认命

Do i have a choice ?

Suddenly feel very down...
When i think of future .. Feel scary ..(or do i still have a future ?)

I know it's a bottomless pit and end up i am the one suffering...
and the hole will get deeper and deeper...
No endless...i find it horrible...

Not sure am i actually doing the right thing ...
But do i have a choice ?

雨天…

好好睡的一天，只是可惜今天不是周末，要逼自己起床。
好怕星期一，因为它让我觉得很压力的一天。
好多事必须都在这天解决。
接下来的日子会怎么样，
真的不知道……
只知道，前方的路，越来越狭窄了。

Andy Lau....

昨晚很开心，很兴奋，因为我去看刘德华的演唱会。
等了七年他终于来了。
风采依然，帅气十足，首首动听的歌…真的值回票价。
他是打从我15岁到现在唯一崇拜的偶像。
在演唱会开始时，
他唱的第一首歌《中国人》已把场面搞到最高点，
接下来还有一首接一首，让人听出耳油动听的歌
《如果你是我的传说》、《天意》、《忘情水》等。
我也被那气氛搞high了。
什么都不想，真的好开心…
发现自己真的好久没有那么开心，好久没笑得那么灿烂。

My thoughts ...

Met my cousin for dinner last nite...although i ordered my fav "peking duck pizza"
but somehow it just dont taste as nice as before...cousin say maybe it's due to our lousy mood...maybe he is rite.

During the dinner we chat quite alot , somehow we both are able to talk about everything under the stars..coz he trust that i won't not go around telling people.
To me , i am there to lent him a listening ears , he is no longer a little boy..he is a growth up now... i can only give him a few suggestion and my feeling etc , really , i can't tell him what is right and what is wrong and i also can't tell him walk by path A instead of B... I treasure the relationship that we both have ... i am always the person he will talk to when he is down through out these years.. not even his own brother...He even mention that he remember last time when we are still schooling , he came over my house to stay and at night listen to my problems...hee hee...he still remember..

After the whole conversation , i knew that he is big enough to think...i won't go and nag at him , as long as i am still his soul mate , as long as he needed someone to talk to , i am always there ! He is a smart young man ...
My thoughts is " Every house hold got their own problem behind the closed door !"
and a person who loves too much will be the one hurting most...

At home , as usual , my dearest boy waiting for me... he has been a very sweet boy , i must say.. he say he miss papa (who is in malaysia)...

As for myself , these few days have been so angry with my sore eyes...till now dare not wear lens...and with my perm hair , wearing glasses i really look very auntie lor...and nowadays cannot stand my perm hair also ...too troublesome and messy...although i look more mature and looks like a independent woman...
Feel like going for reborn again ...hee hee ...just like in my marriage...
I feel my marriage is like my reborning ...i get sick and tired of it ...so i decided to change ...to perm my hair but end up i still think reborn is still the best and suit me more...crazy thinking right....

随缘吧!

昨天又是拿了病死在家待了一天，没什么大病，只是换上红眼症罢了。
是老公传的。
我的抵抗力一向比较差。

晚上翻阅报纸看到王燕清离婚的事，真的感叹家家有本难念的经…
十几年经营的婚姻又怎么样？
缘份尽了，谁也挽回不了什么，心里多不舍又能怎样？
也许就是人们常说的，该放手的时后就该懂得放。
这点不是每个人做得到的。

至于我就是那种死心眼的要命的人，
几时会醒悟我也不知道，
心要伤几次，我也不知道！
现在我们过着family life..我想是因为男人口袋没钱，做不了怪吧！
他也许会到马国发展，我不能不让他发展，
老实说我好怕历史会从演，尤其是他这种不甘寂寞的人。
话说回来，人要变，你把他绑在身边也没有用。
随缘吧！

上天已经有了安排...

感觉好压力…
日子真的是越来越难过了。
在这3－4个月里，我们经历了很多…
我们没有吵架，只有商量，感情也进步了。
一起挨到现在，真的不容易，眼看债务就快清了，但是这条路真的很难走下去…
又圣诞节，又过年，那样不需要用＄，尤其过年更要命。
真的想都不敢想。

我答应过会陪他一起走过这段坚难的路，我一定会咬紧牙关，坚持下去。
也许很傻但希望傻人有傻福吧！
也希望他会从失败中学习，从新站起来。
我相信每件事的发生都有它的原因，
上天也许现在不告诉你答案，
但是终有一天时机成熟了，
他会让你知道的…
这叫：“上天已经有了安排！”

做父母与做孩子…做好自己的本分

昨天中午发生了一件“大”事，让我有很多的感触。
我敬爱的阿姨打电话来向我兴师问罪，因为她说表弟不见两天了。
而我是和他最谈得来的人，可能会知道些什么。

这个表弟是从小到大不需要我们担心的，是个前途无量的年轻人，也是我最疼爱的。
记得中学的时后，我和他有个协议，
谁以后学坏了就要给对方＄5，哈哈，很好笑对吧！

听到阿姨那颤抖的声音，我开始有所担心…一直在想有什么办法可以找到他。
我了解做父母的那种心情…
所以我决定私底下帮忙找人。
情急之下我打电话到他的公司去，想知道如果他有上班，至少我们不必太担心…
他上司还答应帮我问问其他同事有没有看见他。
我以为自己很厉害…也没用大脑想一下后果。

谁知晚上突然来个电话说表弟在家了。
回来了当然好。
他怪妈妈小题大作，更认为我不该打到公司去。
这点我承认是我的错误，刚开始我不断道歉。
后来他说我多事，我一气之下把他骂的狗血淋头。
我们吵架了…
这真的是第一次。
我跟他说，是我不对，
但是做父母的担心孩子没有错。
做儿子的出门不回家，没交代，就有错！

在这个世界上，每个人都要做好自己的本分。
每个人都身兼数职，要做好那麽多角色也真不容易。
但是一定要明白人们的担心不是多余的！

感性!

昨晚在回家的路上，抬头看天看见了双星伴月。
那两颗星星是多麽的亮。
回到家里看见可爱的儿子，眼里含着泪，
一问之下原来是他在学校做了两个饼干，
要带回来给我和爸爸尝尝，
谁知刚才不小心掉在马路上了。
说着眼泪又在眼角打滚。
真是个感性的傻孩子。
我告诉他: "妈妈知道一定好吃，下次我们一起动手做。"
他才破涕为笑。
他就和我一样，很感性。
不知道这样好不好…

日有所思，夜有所梦!

昨天早上一起床发现眼皮莫名其妙的肿了一大块。
看了医生，给了一天病假…
在家的日子好闷，老公又整天睡觉，把我气个半死。
后来他说晚上要去新山，明天才回来。
真的，心里有几万个不愿意，又能怎么样。
心想为什么非去不可呢？
自己心里总是在想他是约了别的女人见面。
有始之终他还是那个爱玩，爱刺激，爱跟在pub的女人“说有的，说没有的。”
有首歌…“他不会是个好男人，也不会是个好情人…”
他就是那么自我，事情决定了，从来不会去理会别人的感受。

昨晚我一直做恶梦…梦见他好多女朋友，
也许是日有所思，夜有所梦吧！

Dec already ?!?

Time really flies...Now is already Dec...
So many activities coming along...
Andy Lau's concert , Xmas dinner , end of 2008...
new year , chinese new year etc...

Not sure how is the year going to end and not sure is it going to be a good start..

These few days was quite " family day" for me...
We did alot of things together as a family...

Of coz i am happy ..and i really how this happiness will last..

As for boy he is very happy too...coz he enjoy all the fun.
Just last sunday i bring him for shopping , eating ice cream , toy r us to get him a xmas present.

And yes cousins are back from bangkok..haven't get a chance to talk to them ..
but all are fine..

Me getting lazy these days...maybe is due to festival period...
or maybe i am sick of my job...
i am not sure...
But i am happy with my family life...
I love him and i love my boy too...

美发院 - 27nov08.

昨天拿假…去了一趟美发院，为自己改头换面。
从以往的rebonding换成perm..
是对我来说是很大的一个改变，不知道是自己发什么神经，突然想改变。
不知道会不会后悔，如果会也后悔莫及了。

Perm 了头发后，不可以懒惰了，
每天都要带隐形眼镜，要在脸上图得美美的。
要不然会很土。
真的希望自己会美美的。

At nite bring my son to nite safari with the family...
The kids had a good time..

Economic down....

Situation in thailand has worsen...
Very sad , such a thing happen at such a time when the economic is so bad ...
people in the whole are now facing retrenchment and pay cut...
such a thing happen will only pull down the economic further..
Not sure what will the tourism be like ?

My cousins are stuck over there..no flights to come back...
It's really a life experience.
Lets hope the airport will reopen tomorrow.

Feeling a little down today ...

and Ying ..i am not very sure what kind of the problems are you facing...
We may not know each other but some how we have similar things..like soft hearted.
Sometimes what we face in life may not be what we want.
And how we treat people , people may not treat us the same way.
For me , at times i need to 改变自己来适应环境..
I know it's not easy...
Most important , know yourself , dont force yourself , 让自己开心...
I am in no position to tell you how to face life coz i am not very good as well..
I am a 知足 person...
做什么都要对得起自己的良心。
我们对人好，真的不可能要求一样的对待。
我常说：人在做，天在看。

终于圆了我的好奇梦。

人都有好奇心。
终于昨天让我圆了我的好奇梦。
事情已经过了两年，但是还很想知道她到底长得什么样子。
长得清秀，温柔…
和我所想象的不太一样。
人们常说，得不到的终是最好的。
也许吧！
现在的我只希望她过得好，珍惜自己的新生活。
默默的祝福你,Y。

weekend was a little bore...

Started to clean up my room and wardrobe since sat...
and really really really so messy...
esp wardrobe ...got so many dresses that i am unable to wear and yet i kept
them till now...
hoping that one day i slim down alittle and i will be able to wear them again ..ha ha.
Fat hope...
Finally i took them out and decided to give it to others that are able to wear them...
Heartache but guess i got no choice.

As for my room , i changed the bed sheet and clean up alittle...
hoping that hubby will have a sense of belonging when he is back..
At least the house will not be is such a mess...
And bed room is suppose to be cosy...
Was hoping to get a mini CD player so that before bed time i can play some soothing music then i can sleep better.

As i was so busy with the house work...i neglect my son...
never bring him go out ...
Just go for his extra lesson and back home...
Guess he is a little bore but he is also a very nice boy...
Never really make a big fuss over it...

Anyway i have already plan to take him out on tues nite to the club to take pic with Madagascar..
and thur i will bring him to nite safari...
I am looking forward to it and really really hope the daddy can still remember these 2 days of activity with the family.
I believe it would be very fun and boy is sure to enjoy...

不要以为我什么都无所谓！

不知道什么时候开始自己变得很计较，尤其在工作上…
感觉自己做得终是比别人多，人家就反而更得寸进尺。
就好比老板交给我的事情，
我从来不喜欢搁在一旁，
我终是会在一天结束前把它赶完。
同样的事交给同事做，
这位同事很会“keng”终喜欢吧事情留到最后一天，
所以往往又变成我必须连她那份也要做。
我通常没有埋怨，但是真的越来越过分，变成老板什么都推给我。太过分了。

19Nov08 / Cloudy

Feeling a little down today , maybe i did not have a good sleep last nite...
Nothing in mind but just feeling cloudy , like the weather...
Today is mum birthday , wanted to give her a surprise by poping by this noon ,
who knows , she surprise me by not being at home ..ha ha ,
end up i only see my sister and the 2 little ones...
The 2 gals have grow up a lot and now they are very fun and naughty too.

Back in ofc , so sleepy , business really affected i guess...not much of a phone call...

These few days i am quite hot temper esp towards my boy ,
tends to be a little more strict towards him...
and nowadays he also know how to answer back lor...
Well i know i am not a good mother , i really at a lost of how to teach kids..
and if u ask me , have all my problem settle?
The answer is no..
Is just that i never really go and think abt it , coz at this very moment , debt is the biggest issue to settle...
About love , about affairs , currently never bring up ...
My dearest cousin seem to have some problem lately ...
ask me meet up with me and have a talk...
Of coz i am most willing to but how am i going to give him advise ,when i myself is so 失败 in life...

Another thing that i am upset about is , i have suddenly put on lots of weight and even my jeans ,
i got problem wearing it...Oh my god !!!

减薪或裁员

面对金融风暴，经济不稳定的情况下，听说公司有可能减薪或裁员。
但一切还没有确实。
如果是真的，对我的影响很大。
家里所有大大小小的帐单，开销，就会出问题。
现在生活已经很省了，真不知道接下来会怎么样？
如果卖屋子，down grade四房或拿new flat,
中间也需要cash money.总之就是两头不着岸，
不要想太多了，
船到桥头自然直，
要能屈能伸。
只希望一家人健健康康，一起挨过这个危机。
加油！加油！

priority seat ?

Lots and lots of differ kind of ppl.
Mrt has got this priority seat for special needs..
Today a lady who says that she is not feeling well ask another lady to give up her seats to her.
Guess wat the answer: i just seat down why should u come and ask me?
The older woman reply: i am not feeling well.
The woman who is seated at the priority seats say: Then you should get down the train.
Scary rite.. Singapore got this kind of ppl. So i give up my seat.
But the woman sure is horrible..
Even if she is not seated at the priority seat , anytime people needs it, u would have to give up your seats.

Yesterday we pre celebrated mum birthday..
Family day which include my hubby.
Early am bought the 3 kids to Playground @ Big Splash to have fun at the Frisk 'n' Romp .
They really enjoy esp my boy.
It makes me wonder is it my son birthday or my mum?
Any way i know mum is happy enough to see the grand children enjoying themselves. And of coz we bought her a mango cake too.

心情舒畅...

很开心又是星期五了，今天的天气也算不错，心情自然也舒畅！
也许是昨晚终于上"大号"了，哈哈！
前几天我便秘了，5天都没上大号，肚子很涨，心情也很烂。
那种感觉真的很要命。
昨天，老板知道了，就买了一瓶药水fleet,就是这个救星帮了我。
还有一件让我心情愉快的事，
昨天我老公第一次买衣服给儿子，而且是他自己去买的。
眼光还不错。
真的，虽然他没买东西给我，可他这次还会买给儿子，我真的很高兴，很bonus.

News...Senior immigration officer charged

A SENIOR immigration officer was charged in district court yesterday for accepting about $140,000 in bribes.
.
Mr Dong xxxxxx , a deputy superintendent of the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority is accused of accepting bribes ranging between $5,000 and $48,000 on12 occasions.
.
The court heard that at the time of the alleged offences, the 54-year-old oversaw a unit that grants social visit passes to foreigners. In return for the bribes he took from one Mr Edmund xxxxxx , believed to be a syndicate member, Mr Dong allegedly extended the social visit passes of Chinese and Vietnamese nationals who otherwise might not have been eligible for such extensions. Mr Dong is believed to have either granted the extensions himself or directed his staff to do so. He has been suspended from duty.
.
If convicted, Mr Dong faces a fine not exceeding $100,000 and/or imprisonment up to five years for each charge.

雨天…

凉凉的天气让我不想起身。
赖在床上的感觉真好…
看着儿子熟睡的样子，感觉他好像一个天使，那么单纯，那么善良。
不像在大人的世界里，那么黑暗，那么复杂…
有时想想，是社会的影响吗？
要在这社会有立足之地就真的要有心机，要甩手段吗？
真的是人们常说的，人不为己，天诛地灭？
对我来说，做什么事都要对得起自己的良心，要问心无愧…
人不负我，我不负人。
上个月，我做了件从来没有做过的事…
对不对的起良心，我不知道，我只知道，
她不惹我，我不会惹她。
没办法，
我一定要保护我的家庭，我不能坐着等着事情发生，所以我选择阻止。
至少我不会有遗憾。至于我会不会成功，只有听天由命了。
最近听说，政府部门有个人因为收了某某集团的钱，所以常常胡乱批准social pass，
他知不知道，我们的国家真的很多流莺？
这会照成社会多大的问题…?!?

孩子的成长过程…

身为人母真的不容易。
我儿子今年才五岁，我已经深深的感受到这点。
记得当时知道自己怀孕后，感觉还没有过够二人世界。
刚开始的几个月更是吐个半死。
当时心里好讨厌这个孩子。
老公整天出去，我就好像坐牢一样。
记得在肚子里4个月时，医生说孩子可能有问题，要我抽洋水…
听了后，
我哭了，不断的跟肚里的孩子说：妈妈爱你，你千万不可以有事。
还好结果是虚惊一场，从那时开始，我也比较珍惜这个得来不易的孩子。

终于等到孩子出世了，圆圆的眼睛，大大的鼻子，很像我。
照顾他也是no joke，每晚都哭，害的我每天上班都好像panda一样。
还好这些我挨过了。
现在是担心他的身体健康和体重太轻的问题。
他现在说话也很甜，也会逗我开心。
真的他是我活着的推动力。
只要他健康成长我就很开心了。
也许这就是身为人母的伟大吧！

Hi I am back !!!

好久好久没有写部落了。
因为真的很忙，
在办公室又不能上网，回到家又要陪儿子，自己也快累死啦！
这几天的生活还挺宁静的。
在上个星期日，老公的事业传来了喜讯…也算得上有点成就，真的很为他开心！
希望这个喜讯可以让他回复以往的信心，重新振作…
毕竟他不是完全没有用，只是走错了，自暴自弃。
发现自己还是心软的，还是很在乎他的。

Bringing up a child...

weekend was always the same for me...
last nite bring the kids to changi airport T3...
for shopping and dinner ..siow rite...went all the way to airport.
But my boy have fun..
Sometimes i look at him , i am quite worry..
coz he is so " soft " , abit only his tears will drop...
Not sure how to teach him , coz i am the same kind but what worry me is,
I am gal but he is a boy ..how can he little bit only drop tears...
sometimes bring up a child can be a big headache...

忙

最近很忙，也许忙是好的。
不会让自己的脑袋想一许有的，没的。
暂时不想，人也会变得快乐点。
很想找份part time赚多点钱，可是不知道做什么？
昨天报告出来了，一切正常，
只是有点infection..吃药就会好的。
It's not easy to be a lady !!!
每天都好累，希望可以好好休息！

加油，加油！

昨天和一位朋友聊天。
谈天说地，
突然她爆出了一句：“你这样做人很辛苦。你一定要坚强。”
害得我的眼泪在眼角里打滚！

回头想想，也对。
这一路走来，心里有多少委屈都是往肚里吞。
从小就是这样。好多好多的事都不可能跟妈说…
真不知道我是怎么挨过来的？
我的性格一点都不象妈，
我比较象我的阿姨也是带大我的人（奶妈）她是个非常好的人，
她很爱我。我也很爱她。
她就是那种嫁鸡随鸡，嫁狗随狗的人，
我好象也是这样。
现在我只想对自己说加油，加油！

Really enjoy my weekends ...

Sat bring boy to his new childcare ..and seeing the smile on his face...
I knew that he really like the place and i feel the teachers are good too..
And boy was there till 12noon .. as it was a newly open childcare , so everything
are new...
And for dinner we (whole family) went for clay pot rice..
although it is just a normal dinner but i just love the family feeling esp
with boy and hubby...and as sunday nite we got a wedding dinner to attend
so i never go to my mum place...but from her voice i can sense that she's not happy..

Sun morning boy wanted to make sandwich for me and the papa to eat...
so i cut for him some ham , cheese etc then he do the rest...
i was so happy that he has grow up ..now can even make sandwiches for us ..
so excited that i forgot to take pic of the sandwich...
to me , it was the best sandwich that i ever taste..thanks son !
Sun noon the daddy bring the son for a swim..
it was fun watching them...
at 1st boy was happy than later he got scare coz he say the daddy refuse to let
him hold the floater...and of coz end up he is in tears...
I think it's becoz he don have confident in the daddy..
and the daddy always like to use force...
anyway we all enjoy..
at nite like i mention ...we attended a wedding dinner ...
when i see people gets marry..always brings back alot of memory..
during the dinner , boy enjoy the most...
he enjoy the food , enjoy seeing the bride...
overall , it a family event and we all enjoy !

人善被人欺，马善被人骑 !!!

我是个蛮为人着想的人，可以很随便…
这也就形成了他往往以为我没有要求。
我不是个不讲道理的人，是看情况的。
好想昨晚我就开玩笑的说：明天你载我上班好吗？我的伤口有点痛。
他回答，车油贵。
哈哈！
多好笑的答案，他每天没有头绪的驾着车到处乱跑，这难到不会浪费车油吗？
原来我连车油都不值…

今天早上，我叫醒他陪我去吃早餐，
我心想，去某某地铁站那里吃，我会比较方便，地铁也没那么挤。
当然他没那么细心。

他爱说：action speak louder then words.
那他的Action真的让我觉得他不在乎我。
如果朋友叫他去这去那，他一定照办，那我宁愿做他的朋友跟好。
平时我会无所谓，可是今天的情况是我的伤口痛。
难道做丈夫的疼疼妻子都不行吗？
在他心里自己永远排第一，朋友排第二…我排第几？不知道…
只知道，his action already speak for him.
他现在也一定在认为我无理取闹，
可是他忘了我的感受，
忘了put himself in my shoe to think.
忘了如果爱我，关心我。

不要以为我什么都无所谓。

我要人家疼，要人家真的关心。

At home...

Was on urgent leave today...
Due to i am sick...
Whole day so boring at home...
Sleep a little , watch dvd etc...
Alone ...bore...
Boy very sweet ...b4 he go for school...
he say mummy have a nice day !
Recently doctor visit again and again..
Went on Tues..wed for injection , sat follow up and next tues result...
all cost $$$...
Never let my mum and sis know..coz they will get worry .

健康是很重要的！

真的这样觉得，
没有了健康，有再大的理想，心愿，也没有用。
以前的我是个知足常乐，天蹋了当被盖的人，
可能随着年龄的增长，人要面对的事不一样了，
变得多愁善感，笑容也少了。
好想回到以前那笑容满面的自己！

不闻不问

终于平安的度过了第一个礼拜，可是还有9个礼拜要过。
太可怕了。
昨晚家婆问我为什么她儿子每天脸黑黑，
脸臭臭，
说话那么大声，
心不甘，情不愿…
真的很好笑，
因为家里的人现在才感觉到事情的严重性。
有时候真的不得不佩服他们的不闻不问。

成功是要付出代价的。

我也不例外…
要成功看到自己的婚姻开花结果，真的要付出很大的代价。
感觉自己真的不该得到如此的对待，
但是路是自己选择的又能怎么样？
怪自己太高估自己，
一直以来以为可以用真诚感动他，
以为可以用真爱感化他，
以为可以用耐心改变他，
以为可以用金钱买他的时间…
原来这一切都是我的一厢情愿…
不但感动不了他，
反而让他觉得我很烦，时不时就和我吵架。
知道他烦，我也很烦…
他只需要烦自己的事，
而我除了烦他的事还要烦自己和儿子的事…
真的很烦，很累。

Have deepavali !

Went wake boarding with hubby and friends yesterday...
and although i don have the guts to join in but i am just very happy
that i am there to be a nanny for my son as well as another kid
(my friend's son)...i love family outing...and the kids enjoy it too...
Hubby is good at all sports..he learn things very fast...
sometimes i will feel that i am so stupid coz none of the sports i am able
to play well like he do...i am more to the quiet kind...i love ktv , read books,
watch drama etc...very boring rite...maybe he find me boring too...

Today is Public holiday, glad that i had another day to rest..
But i know something is very wrong with my body..
will be going for a check up tomorrow...
honestly i am scare..but no choice i guess i will have to face it.
And the person who will accompany me to the doc tomorrow is actually my boss..
ha ha very funny rite...why is it not my hubby ? well i got nothing to say..
i choose this road myself , i will have to face it..even if at the end this
relationship dont bear fruits...
my boss is a very down to earth and family person..
he really take good care of me like a daughter...
I love my family, my mum , my sis , my son and also my hubby...

Long weekend ..

Not sure what should i do ? and where will i be going...
Guess today is as usual..busy with my son...
And one good news is i am giving my son crocodile essence..
since last week.. result so far so good ! keep my finger cross.
No choice as long as anything can cure his cough , how
expensive i also have to buy...
It cost me $38 for 6 bottles..
for the 1st week he will have to take it for 1 week.
and after that is 2 times per week...
it taste a bit smelly but i am glad he still force himself to drink.
Coz he knows it's good for his cough.
I am proud to have him as my son !

Making yourself feel good !

Dressing up can improve my mood.
I realise this is true for me coz i will feel real good.
But very troublesome and lazy at times coz my eyes tends to get very dry when i wear lens and it's almost impossible to wear it every day.
But with glasses i look kind of aunty lor.

So much has happen and lucky i am still in one piece. Ha ha.
My friend say soon i will become 女强人。
Actually it's not that i am scare of hubby nor am i feeding his gamble habit.
But really 遇到了真的没有办法逃，只希望他不要再给家里带来不必要的麻烦。
我有全力保护我家的老，小…
不能给儿子的童年挂上阴影…
不是因为我很伟大。。只是现在还是他的老婆。。i still have to do my part i suppose..
Can't be ignoring and seeing him going down the drain and just let him drown rite..
我不是圣人。。只是一个凡人。。
但我真心希望他好。
毕竟我们深爱过 ！
Appleteas 不要想太多了，船到桥头自然直 ！

今天我的心态是：珍惜眼前所有的！

一个人是不是真的在乎你…真的可以用我们的心来感受到。
真的在乎一个人是会随着他的心情起伏儿影响自己的。
真的在乎一个人是会为了他儿赴汤蹈火。

太在乎也不好！很矛盾吧！

在乎得多或少是很难衡量的…
每个人心中都有一把尺，长度都不一样。
这也说明了为什么会有，
你在乎得多，
我在乎得少，的说法了。

今天我的心态是：珍惜眼前所有的！
因为人的生命很脆弱，
今天不知明日事，
想多了也没有用…
知道的越多，失望的越大。
天真无邪也许是好的。
幼稚是没有办法一夜间变成熟的，除非他自己醒悟…
江山易改，本性难移。

地球不会为了你的不开心而停止旋转…日子还是要过。

朋友们就让我们愉快的过每一天，说容易..但是我们一定要对自己好一点，
因为他们不会因为我们的不开心而伤心，哪怕烦恼是他们造成的。

Blog

A friend told me that i should be posting happy things instead of sad things in my blog..
He asked "why do u wan to remember all the sad things?"
I think for a while.. My answer is a blog is for me to honestly voice out my feeling be it happy or sad..
And if u r a follower in my blog, u should have know and realise that i have change alot and i take things more easy now
compare to last time and in my blog i do have happy postings too..
So don assume.
I will still cont to write and don force yourself to read if u don wan to..
I write to vex my feelings and not to write to lie abt all the good things to hope more ppl will come it to read.
and at the same time lie to myself that i am happy..who don't wish to be happy ???
And further more currently i really cant think of any happy things.
Money problem , marriage problem , health problem..how to be happy...
But of coz i dont pull a long black face daily lar...i still smile to ppl and i really don look like i am troubled.
I am not a young little girl.. those things abt wow i have kfc for lunch today or i saw a handsome guy today etc is just not my type.
Ok enough abt this friend of mine.

Back to myself.. I am not a 婆妈 person..
I have my own mind but i consider too much on other ppl feeling.
I think for my love ones before i think for myself but 吃力不讨好never get appreciated.
I am consider independent.
It not that i don know wat is good for me but i really don wish to cause a person to give up on himself just bcoz i ask for a divorce.
and i also don wan to make the wrong move..
Many may think this is stupid but i am a very 感情用事的人。
I am born like that.
Honestly i did think of dxxxxxx.. Is just that i got to think twice.
I am a person who is once decided nothing can change my mind..
So i am scare to decide. Ha ha confuse rite.
I guess the feeling is still there...so it's not so easy !

Most of the time he can't seem to understand my point of view...
a very stubbon and unreasonable person.
He is not a person that will do some soul searching..
I am worried , very very worried about what will come next...
It's not fully because of $ matters that cause the hiccup in our marriage..
money matter - 20%
affair matters - 30%
unreasonable behaviour - 50%
爱会让人失去自我

我不会选择怨恨。
毕竟爱一个人很难，恨一个人也很难。
怨恨只会让人遮蔽了双眼，看不清路的方向，
伤害自己的同时亦伤害了爱自己的人。

Thank god !

Was so bore in office today...coz cannot log into msn , blog etc...
Help...life can be so bore without all these..
And to make matter worse...no call from him till now.
Not sure why am i still looking forward for his call..
Tot have more or less make up my mind ?
Not sure what to post today...coz feeling very confuse abt my own life..
Only thing that i can think of is , i thank god for giving me a stable job,
wonderful boss and a well behave son.
As for my marriage life...although it seem in a mess but
i do have my happy moments during these 7 years..
To be fair , he did bring me happiness.
Whatever the outcome will be , i do not wan to hate him...
I really did love him till now...
Mayb it's good that he leave me alone during this time...
to be fair to me i guess...
Mayb we really not meant to be husband and wife...
Mayb it's better if we remain just friends...
Coz this is not the marriage life that i wan..
I hate to have diiner alone ..
For my dear son...maybe i should really give it a real good thought...
Maybe , Maybe , Maybe.....
Maybe he may find someone who is more suitable for him ...
Give myself 50 marks only.

Go slow ...

I used to love weekends...when i can see my boyfriend (current husband)
and able to spend time with him etc..
But now i really find weekend very bore..
beside spending time with my boy..bring him for lesson etc..
seem nothing to look forward to...
as usual ..but this weekend got more housework to do coz mil not in town.
as for me and him.. as usual ..no improvement..
most of the time he simply don understand what i am say...
eg..i told him he is not a responsible father...
then he can answer back and say since u say i not responsible then u
handle everything yourself lor...
very childish rite...

.......

Again on urgent leave..sooner or later my boss will ask me to get out.
Reason no one can help take care of the little one.
Did not send him to school coz his cough still very bad.
And i feel like a single mother today..who have to handle every single
little thing by myself...
Reason , i don have a supporting husband and don have a responsible husband.
He is now still in his dream land.
If u ask me , i know i can handle alot of things by myself ...
but i just simply refuse to walk out of this marriage life..
Maybe i am afraid to be alone...
Maybe i am scare that i don have a person to hug when i am down...

If i really walk out.. i knew i will not have a chance to re marry..
who would one a buy one get one free....

I fail today again 40 marks...

Feeling down.

Today i fail...only get 40 marks...
took half day to take care of my boy...very headache..
nearly 365 days cough...now sure what to do with him..
heartache to see him cough till like that...
tried western and chinese all also like that.
Well i am the mother..taking care of him is my responsible..no choice.

The person who makes me feel so down is him again..
Once i reach home...he goes out ..never ever come home for dinner ..
even when i took the trouble to cook...

Still call and tell me no choice but have to gamble...really Fxxx off ..
Not sure how long can stand him...
very very fed up...

MIL not in this whole week..never ever help up with the kids..
always think there are people who will help and he is that kind of
people who only do big thing...shit man.

I hate it when he always put me last...
everytime is friends come 1st..
even at this kind of situation that i stand by him..but i am still last..

Appleteas when will u ever wake up...
Stop hurting yourself...this kind of man who dont even know
how to treasure family and u...wan him for Fxxx.

I really don know and dont understand myself...
what am i waiting for ?
how many times must i get hurt to wake up...

Useless appleteas !!!

做个负责任的人。

人不怕犯错，
错了，要了解到底错在那里？
要如何去改善…
错了，要懂得如何去面对现实，如何去扛起这个责任。

只是懂得是自己造成而不懂得有必要去改，
去勇敢面对的人，
意味着想逃避现实，
逃避责任的人其实是弱者…

世界不会因为谁而末日，
人不会因为没有谁而失去生命！

日子还是要照常过，
只是要过得开心或者不开心，自己决对可以掌控…
自己活的痛苦万分，
但是他知道吗？
知道了，又怎样？
会陪着您一起流泪吗？值得吗？

如果你现在有个真心爱你的伴侣，请珍惜这份缘，
好好的爱你的他…不要呼呼呵呵。
如果现在的你是一个人要走出这个伤心的阴影，
请好好爱自己，相信自己一定可以挨过，婚姻不是生命的全部…

儿我目前选择了‘不攻’，‘不退’…
但是我会尽量让自己开心。
( 也许我是在自欺欺人，但我会加油！）

听天由命吧！

回来了几天，一切都是老样子，这个世界不会因为你的不存在儿改变什么！
心情也越来越沉重…所有的问题还是存在的。
离开不能解决问题，只是让自己暂时逃避一下…让自己回避一下…

老实说，我知道放弃是对大家好的。
可是，就是牵连了太多的感情，现实生活的问题，孩子的成长过程，等等…
只怪自己是个拿得起但放不下的人。

看见他那心事重重，好忧郁的样子…我会心痛。
我也好希望他顺利…
几次好言相劝都无济于事…

人都很奇怪，每次遇到困难，就会想要逃避…
我的他天真的想到外国去工作，
对他来说：外国的月亮终是比较圆…唉！
是真的想好好重新开始，还是在逃避现实？
这已经不重要了，不管结局是什么，
该说的，该劝的，我都做了。

听天由命吧！

posting about my japan trip / osaka

07 Oct 08

I left sin with a broken heart... but i tell myself ..i got work to do and students to look after..

After a 6h 25 min flight..i am really a little tired coz i can never really sleep well on board..

I had salmon rice on board for breakfast..not very nice but at least something to fill up my

empty tummy.

Upon arrival head straight to osaka castle museum,

nothing really interesting there coz i don understand japanese lang and it's all abt history.

and got to climb up to 8th storey..can die man.

Had my lunch at the foot of the castle...the look already tell u it taste nice...

cost around 1000yen...and i had the best selling chestnut ice cream ,taste yummy cost

me 300yen...

At nite back to hotel..room was small but location very good...

p/s : hate nite when i am free..coz will think of him...

not a single call ..has he forget abt me ? did he really wan me to give up on him ?

08 Oct 08

So tired, dont feel like waking up ...

No choice, had breakfast and out we go...

Today we need to visit the nissan ramen museum...

am eye opening for me coz there are so many different kinds of instant noodles..

and the kids get to design their own ramen cup at 300 yen..

Had our lunch ...very yummy too...

Back to hotel around 5pm..decided to walk alone in Hankyu dept store...ha ha

so happy to find my fancl products..compare to sin, it's cheaper...

bought dinner back to hotel ..mc pork & sushi..

while on my way back...i lost my way but i told myself..i can sure find my way back...

while walking...i suddenly think of this song from 张学友/别问
一個人要走多遠　歷經多少滄桑才會累
什麼地方才是家　為了誰才留下
一個人要想多久　歷經多少挫折才會懂
不再輕易掉眼淚　不再輕易說今生

無悔無怨　用一生做誓言
為誰放棄一切　我不再是我
誰又是誰

別問我的傷　別問我的痛
別問我的心中是否在流血
別問我是否心已碎
別問酒逢故人醉不醉

別問我的苦　別問我的悲
別問我的流浪是否很疲憊
別問我是否還有淚
別問魂縈舊夢對不對
也別問我會不會
...

suddenly i miss him so much again..feel like telling him 忘记你我做不到!

09OCT08
universal studio...full day





10OCT08
Visit panasonic center in the morning..very good talk , coz the product are so high
tech nowadays.
Had BBQ lunch
follow by shopping at shinsaibashi..wow lots and lots to shop there.
After that took train back to hotel..leg ache.

11OCT08
Last day in osaka...wake up abit later...and did some last min shopping for my boy..

While on board...i already feel the stress to head back sin...
Sigh...what to do , cannot don't go back rite.
When arr changi airport saw my little darling..he is still so skinny and tiny..
He is a sweet little one..he say mummy, do u know i miss you...
Me and him have got a strong bonding !

last day in osaka

hi friends...
i am still in osaka...decided to go to internet cafe to log in and see how are u guys...
alicia..cheer up...i know it not easy...but love yourself more k...
lotus..so happy to see your post but i will read it in detail when i am back in sin.
weather here is so hot lor...but i love japan...
think i will come back again...
just to let u guys know i am fine...
got so much to post when i am back..so many photos to show u all..

dear all gals....cheer up...
we are strong rite...

b4 my trip !

Had a heart to heart talk at paris ris park b4 my trip..
he mention that he hope i can have a good trip and maybe think over things..
I am confuse...he mention he may not be worth it after all...
Maybe i should really think things over...
of coz i am sad...and hug him b4 i leave...
Tears drop...

Good bye!

To all my cyber friends ..
Do take good care when i am away..
Will miss all your posting..

3 more hours i will be at the airport..and when u guys
are sound asleep...i will be on board the flight..
Heading towards the lovely osaka..with the QQ ramen.

For me travel alone is always lonely...and really i am scare of lonely.
But .. i tends to think better when i am alone..

Guess there will be alot of thinking to be done esp
in the middle of the night alone in the room...

Thanks to my mum in law..she help me tend to my boy
when i am away... and thanks to my boy that he understand it's due to work that i am travelling.

As for him...makes me worry..coz he looks so down.
I have say what i wan to say ..it's really up to him to
think things over and start a fresh.
Of coz i know easy say then done but if cont like that i scare he will walk to a end road ....

Enough abt all this...friends dont forget me k...

结婚戒指。

记得他在结婚典礼上给我套上的戒指…

它虽然不是几‘卡拉’的钻石戒指，也不是非常贵重。

但是对我来说它是这个世界上最完美无缺，最无价的…

因为它代表了，

我们之间的爱情…包含着我们俩细心经营的感情。

两个人能相遇，相知到相爱，是多么不简单的事。

有多少人真正的珍惜这份缘？

结婚典礼只不过是那么一两天的事。

但是接下来的婚姻生活却是一连串的…

一段婚姻的失败往往两人都要负上责任，只是多或少罢了。

我所该负责的是给于他太多的自由，只会为他着想，

事情发生了只会为他找一堆的借口…

养成了他不负责任的性格，

因为他知道，不管发生什么事，

我一定会原谅…

他所该负责的我也不必多说。

只想对自己说：醒醒吧！人变了，就是变了…

结婚戒指带上容易但是要摘下它就难了。

Packing...

Just finish my final packing for my trip ...
Don really seem like looking forward...
Guess am kind of worry for him ...

Last nite when i was at my mum place...suddenly in the mid nite not able to sleep...
Thinking about tell him things are not going to work if he cont like this...
Alot of words come to my mind...
But when i wake up today...i lose all the words...
Worse..when i see him later...I am gone case...
Whatever it is , i have decided later to tell him what i really hope and wish he would do..
Keep my finger cross..
Not sure if i can win ...but better say out then never rite...

Today i give myself 50 marks...

Hate weekends !!!

Today mood was bad ... face very black !
I hate weekends...coz no need to work then i will have so many time to think of
those things that will upset me...

This house that we bought 7 years ago...it's suppose to be my dream hsc..
Although it's just a HDB flat...but it's consider big and windy...
Love at 1st sight , lovely house...
Who knows after purchasing the hsc, in law intend to stay with us...Sigh !
So before even i move in , they move in one year b4 me...
then of coz i can't have the design of my own..
Well to me this is not the most important...
The thing that upset me is...this is call a house and not a home...
Nobody has a sense of belonging...
No love in this house...

Everyday both in laws spend more time downstairs playing cards..
Esp father in law...only comes home to eat , bath and shit...

Weekend even worse...all they know is horse , $$$ etc
Shit house rite..
This is the kind of up bringing in their family...
I hope , i wish , i pray that my only son will not grow up to be like them...
That also explain why i am know more fierce towards my son ,
I hope one day he will understand that mummy meant good to him.

Today 2 of my friends told me they are having their second baby...
Yes i am happy for them , but at the same time i am sad for myself...
How i wish i had a husband who knows how to think...
Who cares about the family more then himself...
He is just living in his small small world , with himself , horses , women , drinks and $..
If he is sensible enough .. i would have more then one kid...
I too wish for a daughter but really...with this kind of hubby , i dare not !
I already regret to bring boy to this world...how can i make the same mistake again ?

At least one good news for the day ...mum talk better today...
Later going over to her house and spend the nite there...really hope i won't step on mines again.

I think my boss also stress by me...ha ha ...
just now he called to say dream of me bring 4 luggage to his house asking for a place to stay.
He is not a person that understand me very well...but he care abt like a daughter...
He is a very homely person , who love his wife and daughter very much...
a very down to earth person...

So far there isnt anyone that really understands me...
10 years ago , i tot my boy friend who is currently my husband...really understands me..
Well like what i post before...he has change..
no longer the person that i once know....

Mood...

我累了。

近来感觉很累，做什么事都提不起精神。
有时想让自己开心一点都不行…

人们常说：做人别想太多，开心就好…
这真的很不容易。
不是我不想开心，
不是我砖牛角尖。

有时真的是事情找上我，躲也躲不了。

做人真的好难。

翻开昨晚的晚报，看见了15岁的女孩和22岁的男孩，双双约好一起自杀。
这是多么让人心痛的事！
如果当时有大人给他们的关心和正确的教导，悲剧还会不会发生呢？

韩星自杀…因为受不了压力，人言可畏真的会害死人。

像我工作的压力，
夫妻生活的压力，
孩子成长的压力，
还有妈妈无形中给我的压力。
真的好辛苦。
多希望她是个我可以讲心事的人，但是这是永远不可能的。
老公又不争气。

好想问问上天，我到底做错了什么？

真的做人很难！

Today i give myself only 40 marks...

see the pic ...

Yesterday was children's day...make the cake with my son...
After that i told him the cake is made for him...Happy children's day !
He was so happy...I had a great time bonding with him...
At night i cook dinner...wz 东瓜汤 and smiling meat balls...
another dish is mix vegetables...and another side dish...
But forget to take pic of all the above that i cook...

Also clean up the house a little .. and pack my clothings for my osaka trip...

Everything was fine yesterday...

But this morning gana scolded by my mum...was so upset over it...
Sometime really cannot stand her...so unreasonable...
She was angry with me coz yesterday she was having slight fever and i never go over to see her..
this am call and check how is she ...then gana
" u got mother mah ?"
" your mother and father all die liao mah?"
" all u know is stay home and watch your husband"

i know her point , i know where she coming from...but don use this kind of nonsense words on me...

矛盾的心态！

男人喜欢身边的女人服服贴贴，但也希望她不要太依赖自己…
真的很不容易。
以前的我是100%的小女人，眼里就只有老公，
他说一，我不会说二，
他说左，我不会说右。
听起来很没用吧！
但是在那时候…
一心一意只想这是个做老婆的责任，
要好好爱老公，要尊重老公。

后来知道老公有外遇后，
我从一位小女人变成了有主见的人，只要我认为不对的我就会发言。
说话时也不再轻声细语…

昨天老公有说到这点。
也许我是变了。
也许我们的步伐不同了。
也许我没有以前那么尊重他。
应为我会认为他辜负了我，不值得我付出。

也许如果我还要这段婚姻的话，
在适当的时后还是要做一下小女人，
跟老公撒撒娇…

做女人真难！

发现丈夫婚外情，离是不离？

我在网上看到一段第三者约谈妻子的对话，很个案。

第三者：我和他已经相爱一年了，希望你能主动退出。

妻子一笑：以我对他的了解，他不会轻易放弃家庭。他从来就没有和我提出过离婚，估计也从没有答应过要和你结婚吧？

第三者：他说你们之间早就没有了爱情，之所以不离婚是因为亲情。
　　
妻子说：你知道什么是亲情吗？就像左手和右手。平日握在一起可能没什么感觉，也不觉得怎样珍贵，倘若真要剁去一只手，人就成了残废。他不会想成为残废的。
　　
第三者有些受挫，但还强撑：他说对你早就没了“性”趣，连作爱都是一种姿势。他跟我在一起才有激情。他说和我作爱很幸福。 　　

妻子说：既然你和他那么亲近，一定知道他的某些生活习惯了。比如他一年到头最爱吃大米饭，可偶尔也愿意吃顿饺子尝尝鲜。但饺子再好吃能取代大米饭吗？我告诉你，家庭就像他的大米饭，你看看他一年365天大多数时间在哪里？和你谈话之前我正好算了算，去年所有的正规节假日，包括情人节中秋节，他都在家里陪着我和孩子包括双方父母，那些日子你感觉怎么样？

据说这次谈话之后，第三者很快选择了离开。

妻子也从未对丈夫提起过这次谈话，家庭自然又重回原来的轨道。 　　
这位妻子在第三者面前选择了死守家庭的态度。 　　
那么，发现丈夫婚外情，妻子是否都该这样呢？
有人说眼里揉不得沙子，必须得离婚。
有人说不能便宜了第三者，坚决不能离。其实都不对。
面对丈夫婚外情，离不离婚要根据家庭实际情况区别对待。 　
　
共分两大类五种情况。

第一种情况，家庭已经没有继续维持的基础，夫妻间感情不好，妻子对丈夫本来就不满意，只是一直下不了决心离婚，这时丈夫有了婚外情而且妻子消化不了，就应当就此下决心离婚，大可不必像某些女性那样，本来还想离婚，因为有了第三者的刺激，反而要回头守住家庭了。

第二种情况，婚外情暴露之后，丈夫不但毫无悔意，反而恼羞成怒，摆出一副坚决要离的架势。这种情况下，婚姻肯定已无好前景。作为妻子，千万不要再存幻想，以为忍气吞声能天长日久忍出个好结果来。应坚决捍卫自己的尊严，毫不犹豫结束已经死亡的婚姻，否则拖延一天，耽误自己一天。
——以上两种情况属于一大类，比较容易决断。

难就难在那些尚有一定基础的家庭，夫妻感情不错，子女也还好，但妻子消化不了丈夫婚外情，该怎么办？

这又涉及三种情况。

第一种，丈夫悔悟了，从此回归家庭，这时妻子切忌穷追猛打、不依不饶。经过这样的风雨，家庭往往会更趋稳定。丈夫知错有了内疚，会更珍惜这个家。所谓“赔不是里生爱情”。这时妻子越宽容，丈夫会越感念。一张白纸不见得就好，从未经过波折的家庭反而脆弱。

第二种，丈夫承认了婚外情，口头上也悔悟了，但暗里还和第三者保持联系，当然人比过去有所收敛。这种情况是大量的，也比较难于处理。大凡迷恋过婚外情的男人很难完全断绝诱惑，但又不想用婚外情取代家庭。这时全看妻子如何评价自己的婚姻，如何看待丈夫“馋嘴猫偷腥”的行为。如果妻子认为丈夫总的来说对家庭还负责任，觉得他经过一段偶有出轨的岁月最终会回归家庭，而妻子又能包容和消化这类事情，那么，这个婚姻可以吵吵闹闹地磨合下去。如果丈夫花心得厉害，妻子又绝对无法咽这口气的，就要及早掂清其中的利害，丈夫别的方面再好也不可留恋，该离就要趁早。要不，这辈子罪受大了，最后还免不了一个“离”字。

第三种，丈夫的婚外情被发现后，一方面说要维持家庭，另一方面撕破脸公开讲不肯放弃婚外情，婚外情反而从地下转为公开。有些女性迫于家庭多年的经营和积累，以及对孩子、父母等方方面面的考虑，对于该不该离婚十分犹豫。那么，面对这种情况要早下决心。丈夫以保留婚外情为维持家庭的条件，不仅是对妻子的侮辱与不公，也预示这个家庭未来必定不会有好结果。

Busy ... Busy ... Busy

Have been so busy lately.. due to more work and also of the "down grade" in system...
Therefore not so efficient nowadays ...
stupid system ... cannot tahan ...
#%^#^%$%^*%^$#(
today closing worse....

It's not that i had recover...it's because i am busy with work so really got no time
to think about other things ..maybe in a way it's good .
But after work...the kind of stress feeling will be back...
And everynight i will still get up at 3am ...and then cannot get to sleep anymore.
Am not sure why...

The only thing that i am glad today is ....tomorrow is public holiday...
At least can have a day break from the office stupid system...
Really makes my blood boil...

These few days have been hearing of some male friends talking about their wife having affair.
Can't help but thinking ...what is this world becoming...
Maybe i am a bit old fasion...
But it really hurts me to see them feeling so hurt...
And this male friend of mine had 2 kids...
He wanted to give each other a chance but the wife refuse...
Maybe it's also good ...coz the road to recover is even harder...
Really human don know how to treasure things that they have...
Of coz i am only listening from one sided story ...
But it really hurts...esp to the one that love the most...

Sigh ! Until now still haven't lunch ....
But lucky i got my fav 豆沙饼 ！

MIA

Dear friends...
I never MIA...just that weekend i went to malaysia for a short holiday with my little prince
and of coz my hubby...
Although the trip is short...but i guess i got nothing to complain about this trip...
Boy really enjoy himself alot...and of coz there are times that he misbehave...
Find that he really grow up alot... he now got his own way of thinking...
No longer the little one that listens all to me...maybe in a way it's something good...
but somehow i was a little down coz i find him too naughty...

As for the "big kid" ...he was ok for the whole trip...just that got alot of things in mind...
guess is stress by $ and alot alot of our things like career etc...
Find that actually he too can be a very nice and caring person , if he dont bet and dont "cheong"..

Still feel myself not able to give out on him...
Today i fail !!!

26SEP08...it's a special day !

Wanted to post something on last friday 26Sept08...
Who knows...i was so busy in office...dont even have time to go toilet..ha ha

Had wanted to post that it was our 7th wedding anniversary ...
We went for japanese food the day before...
No sweet words , no special celebration , no gift...
But i seem happy enough...maybe i am just a 小女人。
Time really flies...

These 7th years are full of ups and downs , laughter and tears !
If u ask me have i ever regrets...I give it a serious though...my answer is NO.
If u ask me can my marriage life be better...the answer is YES.

People say 七年之痒 ...i wonder when will i ever 痒 ?

What is important ?

Today i give myself 50 marks ...(just pass)
Coz feel like posting about him again...
but i still pass myself because my feeling abit differ from my older post..hee hee

He did not come home last nite(until now no sound from him)
Think drunk...mayb sleep by the road side or motel or hotel..
I start to think that we are really different...
He seems much happier when he is with his friends..
But when face me he feel the stress...
Coz i would tell him to go work , talk to him not to go gamble , ask him to stay more at home etc..
I have change myself just yesterday as not to everyday show black face etc...
I smile , i laugh...i joke..but end up he feel that i only think of play , play , play when he
is so stress in paying his debt...funny right..he is the one who tell me 做人要开心..siow

The best part is ...i have a very very nice and peaceful sleep...which i normal don't , i will
always wait for him to reach home b4 i sleep...
Ha ha ...maybe i was thinking if being together but feeling stress then no point...
Am i setting myself free ?
Am i able to free myself very soon ?
I don't know but i believe god knows...

Last time i always dress up just to impress him...
But today i doll myself up...although he did not get a chance to see me this am...
But i feel great ...even in the MRT i feel confident , so what if hubby dont care or concern..

I used to think...he is the most important person in my life...
I live for him...
I feel sad with him
I feel happy with him
but what is the point...he don even know how to treasure ppl around him...

But i must thank him for adding alot of colours to my life...
He really show me the "world" , and the ride of "roller coaster" of our life...
and because of him i understand myself more ...i realise that i can be such a crazy person
that can give out pride and alot alot of things just for the person i love...

I wan to tell myself...don keep looking back ...don keep thinking how we go through all the
hardship together etc...
The true is as times goes by human will change...
he no longer appreciate those days
no longer appreciate how i forgive him once and again...
He is no longer the person he used to be...
I don regret getting married to him...but i have to love myself and my boy more...

现在的他很不长进。。很烂赌 。。很让人失望。。

ANSWER ...

1不专一
2情场高手,野心狡猾
3爱吃醋,占有欲强
4感情专一保守
5尊重所爱的人,值得伴终生
6色情狂

心里测验

你认为最浪漫的地点:

1 开满玫瑰的花园
2 山花浪漫的山角
3 火山口下的第一条小溪
4 白雪皑皑的山颠
5 平静湖面的小舟
6 两个人的教室

Life is short !

Read through all my posting....
Every posting is so sad and all about him..

Today i have decided to change my posting ...
Coz life is short..why not post some happy things instead ?
There is so much things that is happening around us...
Things like F1 , IR , Tainted milk etc...why must i only have him in mind ?
There are so many fun things around us...

Posting for today...

My boss is a very nice person...very homely person ..
A bit like my dad...
He knew that my handphone is giving me alot of problem lately..
Guess what ...today he bring his 7 mth old nokia E51 to me..
he only ask for $100
So touched !

My fav sweet... 大白兔奶糖。。。
so sad...every new year i sure to buy this sweet...
looks like i will not have a chance to eat it liao...

Myself...very zombie today
Coz last nite went drinking till 3am...
Sometimes it just good to let off the stress...
Although tired but i am happy...coz i enjoy...
and had fun seeing how people behave after a few drinks...looks funny lor...
Very happy with myself too...coz it have been so long since i smile and even laugh..
Never know that i can be so pretty when i smile...ha ha ha

And the stupid office air-con is sooooooooo cold ....make me even more sleepy...
and freeze !!!!

Today i give myself 80 marks for posting happy things !

我的小时候。

爸爸妈妈很迟才生育…
在我姐姐出世的那年，爸爸的生意兴隆。

3年后妈妈一心想要生一个男孩，怎么知道还是女的…她好失望。
那年爸爸却应为身体不适，生意一落千丈…

妈妈是个很迷信的人，她认定我是不祥的，认为我是来讨债的。
后来她经‘高人’指点说父母不可以为我庆生。
姐姐却每年都有父母为她开party.

在我5岁那年，阿姨为我开了个小庆祝会，邀请我的父母出席…好笑吧！
小小年龄的我已经被大人伤透了心。

接下来的不公平更是离谱…

它包括了每天早上在规定的时间我一定要买coffee给妈妈喝，
家里的家务要一手包办,
姐姐每晚喊着要吃夜宵，我就一定要去打包。
下午放学回家，姐姐可以睡午睡，但是我不可以。
妈妈规定我每天一定要做家务…
说到冲凉，家里有个大bath tub，但是妈妈从来不让我用，
我只可以去厨房的bath room用shower.

小时候，我就是灰姑娘。

这种种的磨练也让我学会独立。

以前好讨厌妈妈，但是现在长大了，对她的恨也少了。

妈妈我还是爱你的。

A letter to my hubby ! (although he dont know my blog)

Hi Dear ...
Happy 6th anniversary !
Time flies ... we been through so much...ups and downs...
We understand each other ...and no one really knows what we both gone through...
Understand that we both are facing lots of stress in 2008...
Maybe u feel i talk too much...
Maybe u have too much big problem to handle ..and our problem u consider small...
Anyway ... i really very stress up...coz i am not a gamble person ..so i hope u understand my stress ... i am not trying to blame you for everything.
But really u change alot these 2 years ... maybe $ is really really important...
But family too...
I have forgive u alot ... without conditions
and i hope u too can give me the forgivess...as i had threw a real big temper...
Do you know i feel real bad after that ?
I am scare ...really scare ..coz i can't seem to control myself...
I am so scare that u make mistake again...
I got so many pending bills to follow...
But every time u make mistake ...i forgive but at the same time i dont have your assurance...
I am scare...
But i just wan to say ...I still love you !

No one can really understand how hurt i feel !

As mention today 22sep08 is our 6 years...
Getting marry is something wonderful !
I will not forget 6 years ago how happy are we..and also our wedding lunch and dinner etc...
I know i am happily married !
I am a very simple person...i don't ask for the sky..I longer for a man who really care and love me...
I don't ask for lots of $ ,
I don't ask for condo ,
I don't ask for maids...

Today , 6 years later...he forgot that it's a special day !

I really know this time round i am wrong... I shouldn't have hit him...
I should not throw temper last nite...
But did he ever ask ...WHY ?
Why did my wife throw such big temper ?
(while writing this posting , tears drop...i can't seem to stop the tears)

好一个心痛的6周年 (ceremony)。

今天是我们的6周年，但感觉好心痛。

因为我们昨晚吵架了，我甚至动手打了他几下。
动手就是不对…
我也不知道我为什么会这样，控制不住自己，
好想疯了一样，好可怕。

发生了这样的事，今天当然无言以对…
记得6年前，他是怎么样牵着我的手把我娶进门…

今天是伤心的。
好想找回遗失的那种感觉。

Massage

Went for my fav massage just now...
30 mins Scalp massage ..which never fail to make me sleep...
another 30 mins back massage..which always helps in my muscular aches and pains.
Another of my fav is swedish body massage ..which i didn't have time to do it today ...

My Weekend !

Yesterday was busy...as usual...bring boy for swimming..noon for math class..
During his math class..i went shop shop...saw a pair of working shoe but this month dont have these extra $ to buy anything...while waiting for boy...end up i window shopping till 1 hour..
never buy anything ...sian..
then worse thing is got to pay for boy maths fee...3 months for $450...
worse which meant alot for this broke month...what to do...
After that bring boy to visit my aunty....
She loves me alot since i was a little girl...till now...somehow there is a chemistry in us...
I need not tell her that i am unhappy etc...the moment she saw me, she knew it...
She offer to give me a good massage..hee hee and that is the best thing that i had for these 2 weeks..
She may not know what kind of pressure i am facing in my marrriage...she tot that i am happily married...But she does know that my mum side giving me lots of pressure as well as work...

People always tells me..i am lucky to have a well behave son...
But just last nite my boy talk to me without respect...
Suddenly feel like slapping him...
Not sure is it becoz i never make an effort to come home early to teach him...
Seem like getting a little out of hand...
Sigh...i better do something before it's too late..

Lately been throwing alot of temper on boy...
It is not that i am crazy or i take it out on him
but it's the fact that i am also quite scare that he turn up to be a useless person...
It's just too scarely !

I am really really very tired !!!

Sometimes i can't help but think that i am not really so important in his heart..
I am but just an alarm clock , who wake him up every morning for his work..
I am but just a person that he can throw temper at..
I am but just a ATM..
I am but just a person he will think of only went he is down..
Once his matter settled .. I am no longer needed ..

What is it that is holding me ?
When will i ever give up on this man ?
When will i ever wake up from my dream?
Why is it that i love him so much ?
Why is it that i can't seem to be able to leave him ?

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Be thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,and they can become your blessings.

男人女人 ...

This is their love song (the woman teach my hubby this song )...so hurting right !!!

女： 爱爱爱爱了几回 也明白其中滋味 付出的从来不会等于收回 我却还在等待着 谁能出现

男： 伤伤伤伤了几回 也曾经为爱憔悴 爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈 我却还是学不会 狠心对谁

女： 男人男人 多希望你是好人 多希望用你的真 让我不必再心疼

男： 女人女人 我答应做个好人 我答应用我一生 来换你的快乐一生

女： 爱爱爱爱了几回 也明白其中滋味 付出的从来不会等于收回 我却还在等待着 谁能出现

男： 伤伤伤伤了几回 也曾经为爱憔悴 爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈

合： 我却还是学不会 狠心对谁

女： 男人男人 多希望你是好人 多希望用你的真 让我不必再心疼

男： 女人女人 我答应做个好人 我答应用我一生 来换你的快乐一生

女： 男人男人 多希望你是好人 多希望用你的真 让我不必再心疼

男： 女人女人 我答应做个好人

合： 不会再让我（你）心疼 一等再等 你就是我等的那个人

男： 男人男人

女： 女人女人 合：多么希望你是对的人

谢谢你们，朋友们…

今天的心情沉重。
没有什么特别的原因。
可能是在这两个星期里发生了很多事，多到一时间没有办法适应。

公司里的变动…
踩到某某同事的尾巴…
生病…
家里的压力…

真的有苦没有地方说。

也真的没有人会发现我的不快乐，因为在他们的眼里我是坚强的。
但是他们忘了我也有软弱的一面。
我想我真的累了…

My Friend send me this...Ha Ha (Finally i laugh for the day)

How Men Change

The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?

Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?

Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE! PHONE DAM*T!!

Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??

New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?

TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not inthe mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!

Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocatinghere!!!!

心痛的感觉！

真的今天心不在焉。

还是想起他的一句一句刺痛的心的话。
难道他不知道我是因为担心他吗？
我终不可能说：“放心去赌吧！”
他让我觉的我的存在是多余的。
吵了架后变得无言以对…

唉，一切的努力都白费了。

他就是这样自我！

昨晚又失眠了。
大脑不停的重复他说的每句话…字字都好伤人。

他决定以他的方式来处理他的问题，我一时间没办法接受…就吵了一架。

后来他只扔下了几句…
“我的事你以后不要管！”
“我失败了，我会‘跑路’！”

多么没良心的一句话！

我不敢说我是个100％的好老婆。
但是这些日子以来我的不离不弃，我的委屈都往肚里吞。
没有感激…
结果他还是没有心改变，换来的就是一连串的废话。

我真的很累，这个人我真的教不好。

Not sure am i asking too much from him ?

He is really a headache...just 1 week ago , he can tell u ...at the most i go and find a job and
don touch on gamble...now he can tell you off ...

I got nothing to say about this man of mine...

Dear Aeris and Alice ...at least your ex guys are not as bad as mine and at least u both wake up
and heading towards another direction...
Look at me ...still hanging in the air...
Good mah ? Can anyone just give me a tight slap and wake me up ?
In our 7 years marriage ...i never once do anything wrong to him ...
I only got eyes on him...

Marriage Vows

To Bridegroom Will you, __________________ take this woman ______________ to be your wedded wife, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, so long as you both shall live?

To Bride Will you, _________________ take this man _________________ to be your wedded husband, to live together in the ligal estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, so long as you both shall live?

In token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, with this ring I marry you.

不要再错下去了。

请你醒醒吧！
我知道这条路不好走，但我会一路陪着你走下去。
不要再这样下去了，要不就回不了头了。
人生还有几个10年？

面对VIA逃避 !

人做错事就要懂得站出来面对，
要懂得如何承担后果,
逃避是没有用的。

关于家庭！！！

I had used what my school had taught me ...
01) Respect
02) Sacrifice
03) Honesty

Sometimes i wonder ...all my sacrifice are they worth it ? 这样做真的值得吗？
But i did it out of love ...Really i love my hubby alot alot !
No one really know how much i sacrifice for this relationship...

But now i only hope that he will get on his feet and move on...
I hope to be the person who will be there to give him encourgement...to pull him up when he fell..
to help him gain back his confident...

When the whole world give out on him and condemn him , i will be there to give him the support and tell him what has he done wrong...

I really may sound silly...but this is me !

踏入社会 ！！！

老板教我。。。饮水思源

Although my very first boss is no longer in this world ...but i still remember things that he has
taught me ...

Mr Sng ...thanks alot ! And may u be in peace...

School Motto / 校训

我来自一个很好的小学。。公立培群 ！
它教会了我很多。。。

礼义廉耻

School Motto / 校训

礼 / Courtesy
彬彬有礼 洗耳恭听

We must respect other people, especially our parents, teachers, brothers, sisters, friends and schoolmates. We must observe law and order in our society wherever we go.

义 / Justice
见义勇为 义不容辞

We must be willing to perform good deeds to others and even sacrifice our benefit for the good cause of mankind like giving generously to the poor and destitute, helping the handicapped and those who are really in need. Whatever we do, we must be guided by the principles of justice.

廉 / Honesty
路不拾遗 光明正大

Honesty means upright conduct and free from corrupted practice. We should not take anything which we do not deserve. There is an old saying, “Honesty is cultivated in thrift”. Since honesty is cultivated while we are young, we will be able to perform our duty honestly in future.

耻 / Honour
知错能改 洁身自爱

We should be on the alert constantly and refrain from doing things which we think are wrong. A person who esteems honour will have confidence in himself. He will correct his mistakes whenever he finds them.

Mid Autumn Festival.

Not sure are there really alot of people enjoying this day ...to me...nothing really interest me!
It is still the same old boring day...
At first plan to bring my mum and boy for japanese food at clarke quay.. end up my sis daughter
have fever so no choice but to cancel our appointment !

Then left my sis hsc , came back to my own hsc...which is so empty ..no sense of "family".
Very very boring day ...
And yes the mood is round and bright but just something is missing ....

Last time when i was a little girl , my mum and dad spend this day by letting me and sis play with the lantern..and mum and dad will sit by the round table eating different different mooncake and dad will boil water to make chinese tea...
It's just so cosy...and dad although u gone for 11 years...but i still miss you and miss your chinese tea...no man in this earth is as good as you ! I LOVE YOU , DAD !
Really miss those days...
and since i marry to him ...his family just doesn't have this kind of family value...
really different up bringing...

溏心风暴Ⅱ之家好月圆

Watching this show...I just love hongkong drama...
Worth watching !

重庆麻辣火锅

Went for the chongqing steam boat last evening...
While having dinner with my hubby..suddenly think of "her"...
Becoz she came from Chongqing...can't help but suddenly just think of her ...
of coz i don deny that there is a sense of hate in me...
Of coz during our conversation ..we did mention about chongqing , about her etc..
Hope she don ever come back !

Headache

So busy with the system changing ...having headache !

Why am i so unwilling to learn ?

During lunch asked my friends....
" Why is it that we are so unwilling to learn the new system ?"
" Is it due to age ? Maybe we getting old..."
But end up my answer is , it is not that we are getting old...for me i get very fed up is because
I feel that it's a kind of down grading ...becoz our old system is so advance...and this "new"
system ...really can kill people ...the entries are so silly...

These few days we are so fed up with the stupid new system...

Japan...here i come !!!

May have a chance to go Osaka...so happy !
If confirm i will leave on the 07Oct08...
So many years have not been there...really looking forward to this trip...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for my family problem...not able to settle all..but at least have settle the major issue...
and last nite went to meet out with a friend... am very glad that it turns up to be a friendly settlement...although we still need to pay him the $ in 6 months time but i am already very happy that he give us a way out...Thanks brother !
I am pretty sure he has forgiven hubby...and he is actually planning to help hubby to go through
this dark period ...Only hope and pray that hubby will learn his mistake and be a more responsible person...and dont take people for a ride...coz people don owe u a living...
不要在人看成鬼，鬼看成人...

To hubby...
If after this time , u still don learn from mistakes and still cont to make the same mistakes again and again...u will be finish...Do you really know what is your mistake this time round ?
Will u even learn ?
Be more responsible.. must know how to spend $ wisely...
If people ever give u a chance...pls treasure it.

Mad house in office today !!!

Our office has just change to 2 new system....
Really going crazy over it ... so troublesome and so difficult to use...
Messy !!!
Maybe it's really just a matter of getting used to it ... but too many things happen at one shot...
Cannot really take it ...
Both home and work...all driving me crazy...

Tonite got to go and meet someone that in debt with ...not sure what is going to happen...but i
know that it's not going to be easy to settle and my man sometimes can be so hot temper...
God...i hope there's no quarrel tonite and really hope it will be a friendly settlement...

Office matters

So angry in office today , maybe it's due to my mood !
Feel everything is so unfair !
How come i got to do all the stupid paper work and people can just don do , just becoz she say don know how to do...
DON'T KNOW THEN LEARN LAR...
fed up ...

Black days ahead !

Weekend was peaceful..bought mooncake for mum and nanny.
Hubby even spend time with the boy ...kite flying !
This is my hubby , whenever he is down .. then he will spend time with me , boy and even accompany me to mum hsc.. not sure if i should be happy enough.

Last nite suddenly felt very uneasy , wanted so much then he can hug me to sleep but of coz never lor...
Tears feel like dropping but do not want to worry him.
Had asked him a question which i later regret that i had asked...
I ask him now that i am with his side to go through this hard ship together , does he has confidence that we both will have happy ending together and he will not have another woman...
His answer is very clear cut ...he say no confidence...it really just leave me wonder then what is the point of me going through the hard times together...i don feel appreciate , really !
Life with hubby is really full of ups and downs...so much that sometimes my heart cannot stand it...
Maybe he feel that it's best that i can leave him ... (I am not very sure what he thinks...)

My personal problem really is affecting my job ...i dont mean it , but i really cannot concentrate.
Everyday worry about his problem...everyday thinking where to find more $...
I know at the end of the day , it's really he himself that can help himself...and i know very well that he will never stop gamble...he will ... when he has the $ again.

Feel that he never have the time for me to talk about my emotional...last time when i wanted to talk about it , he is not interested ...coz he is more interested in those women outside...now that he is down , he is still not interested to hear me out coz he has got problems to face...
When will i ever have a chance to talk about myself...

I came from a family that dont drink , don bet...but i married into a family that smokes , drink and bet...do u know the pressure that i am facing...
I have never face $ problem but do u know the stress that i have to face when i am now in debt ...
When i pass him the $ ..he has never ask me where the $ come from....
Does it bore him ? Have he ever ask do i still have the $ to pay for boy school fee ?

This question just come into my mind today...it's worth the waiting ?
But i really don have the heart to leave him at the current moment...How can i ?
When he is feeling so down in his life....

赌。。是害人的东西！！！

真的很烦。。
已经好几天没睡好了。
家里有些烦人的事。。。
总知赌是害人的！真的好累！一下是有女人， 一下是一身债。
真不知道上辈子是不是欠他的！

Have not been sleeping well for the past few days...coz the person sleeping beside me keep having nite mare...guess he is too stressful. If these goes on...he will soon be crazy.
What can i do ? Throw him aside , don care abt him ? I can't ...I just can't !
He has lost his way in life...how can i be so cruel to leave him to rot by himself...
If in the beginning , i married him becoz of $ of coz now i can leave everything behind and wash my hands off everything...but i married him out of love...
I believe he will change one day ...i go all out is for his own good and not mine...
I believe he is smart enough to know what is right and wrong...
I believe he just lost his way and i need to be there to help him to find his way back , becoz i am his wife...the whole world can give out on him but i can't...

I feel that Lotus knows me the best....
Lotus am i rite ? Are u back from Bangkok ?

Thomas & Friends Live On Stage !

After a long long wait...finally this day arrival , I am bring my boy to EXPO to watch his fav thomas...he has been looking forward to these day...since JUL 08.
Too bad the daddy will not join us... i expected it long ago..
Cant have our family time again...
Who cares...just as long as my boy enjoy it , it's still worth it...

凡人= 烦人

真的很烦。。从上新期二晚就病！以为好了， 哪知来个大伤风。。。
一下冷， 一下热。。人一没$ 问题就来了！
有时。。人真的很烦，像我。。真的不知道“老婆”应该在生活中扮演一个怎么样的角色？
是不是把家里照顾好，疼公公，婆婆，相夫教子，这就是个好老婆吗？
那为什么每当老公做错事时，所有的毛头都会指着你，说你不会管教他。
感觉好委屈，老公又不是我生的，这也要算在我头上吗？
那老公做好时，有没有人会拍拍我的肩膀说我教的好呢？