When human being fall in love...

Just read in a chinese news paper find it quite true...when people fall in love, they can really do lots of silly things...everything also can endure..."ren , ren , ren".

Sometimes i just wonder...guys cannot have too many things in mind at one go? I am not sure...
Maybe they just don know how to run their own time ..
At times i wonder ...maybe hubby..is too much into gamble and lots of $ problem that he overlooked alot of other things which are as important...
anyway i am in no mood to talk about this at the current moment...
the most important thing now is my boy's health...

Last nite my little one had fever again in the mid nite 39.5...stress...both me and boy didn't sleep till 3am...i was putting on ice pack for him...at first he complaint feeling cold then after a while he complaint feeling hot...
Just when will this fever go away.....

The truth always hurts...

Just read Lotus posting for today...
Came across something that she mention...she say when 2 person came together ..they tends to wish or hope that the other person will behave as they wanted them too.. she maybe rite in some sense but at the same time...it's really case to case ...take my case for example...what i wan is just that when i fell ill , he will be there to feed me medi , to take my temp , to help me a bit with the kid...i don think i am asking for too much on this issue..
I think his love for me is getting less...or should i say he feel he has got more important things and he feel i can wait... whatever it is , we are very differ..today we bring boy out for breakfast..on our way back alittle bit of rain ...so i ask him for a plastic bag ..guess what he answer..."make of paper one har?" my god...is this what a father should say ? common sense , don he knows boy having slight fever, it's best not to let him catch the rain ? I am very disappointed with his answer...
Honestly , i consider myself as a good wife..I never once let him worry abt hse problem...bills , expense etc And i never once ask so much from him...but today when i see him ...I don feel love...the thing that come to my mind is "he is not a good son" "he is not a good father" " he is not a good hubby" i just wonder ...am i asking for too much ? i think i am just being fair and asking for what me as a wife should have ...THE CARE AND CONCERN FROM THE HUSBAND
I think i should put it that ...when u reach different stage you will look at things differently...I think i have already move on these far and he is still fare behind me , in his own world...
Dear God let me tell you ...if i ever left this guy who i have love and give out so much on...i know life for me will be very lost ...no more freedom for me to go drinking after work with friends...my whole life will be only my work and my boy...
and i know that he will still be as happy go lucky as before...
Being in this world for some many years...Marriage is really my biggest gamble that i bet on ...
And from his action...i knew i lost...
(my husband always likes to say , i dont promise u anything but i can only says action speaks louder then words...) and this time round , yes ...his action really speaks very loud....HA HA HA ..
Feel myself very stupid...since i can seat here and type some much and i knew so much about him ...but why i still don wan to leave him ...I also not sure....

I feel better now...

Dear All,
I was on 3 days MC...either sleep , vomit or cry at home...
because the stupid fever always never go down...and full body so ache.
and my man goes out nearly everyday till 4am...
anyway now i feel much much better after taking the medi from TTSH. but the sad thing is my boy has fever today...my god...he pass to me , i pass back to him...we both so poor thing rite...
this has make me realise one thing, if i stay with my man , i have to be well if i am sick then i don expect him to come and take care me...
dont talk about sad story liao...lotus thanks for your care...i know u really worry abt me...i be alrite..take care of yourself in thailand...
as for me suppose to go malacca on mon-wed , but boss get replacement liao, as he worry i may not be well to travel...so sad..this sickness cause me so many things...

Really collapse !

Hi ladies,
Tot i better drop a line , or else u guys may tot something bad happen to me...heehee
Last nite half way while talking to him,suddenly running high fever 39.5...
so went to see doc..doc check this check that , then suddenly i broke down infront the doc...
he was shock but i quicky tell him i am alrite...he given me 2 days mc..and mention if still got fever , thur must go back to run some deng fever test...
Last nite he send me home , but he still goes out to drink till 4am , even when i am sick...
of coz i am very upset...
worse is this am ...boy wake up feeling headache and vomit for 4x...
i ask him to wake up to bring boy to see doc...and i wake him from 9.30am to 10am...
in my heart i was thinking...not good to me never mind boy what abt boy...
I think my heart start to die off liao...even if like wat he say , he facing lots of $ problem cannot concertra on other problems....just what have i done to have this kind of husband...

I suddenly feel so stressful..headache , tummy ache , hands and legs all cold

Is it due to stress ? Am i going under some depression ? Do i need to see doctor ?
As i mention b4 that we are having some $ problem and really no way to solve ..
I am just being naive that by standing by his side .. i am able to give him some support and no problems are problems...
These few days i been having bad tummy ache esp in the mid of the nite...3AM + , i am tired but i can't sleep due to the pain...
Just now he called me ...same question...asking me how ? Am i able to help ? After i put down the phone , my headache and hands and legs are turn cold...
Suddenly i become so scare that i will suddenly die off or go mad...
Because i haven change my CPF will , and lots of AIA insurance haven put under boy's name...
and even this blog of mine...I never let any of those people that i know , read...
Coz i wan face ...and i know friends and relative will sure ask me to let go...
Suddenly i was thinking , maybe i should sell my flat and that's it ...he goes him own way and i goes my own...
Currently this looks like the only solution...
Coz he didn't wan to give up on his "hobby"
Not even for me or the son...
Not even for his mum...
Seeing him like that , it just hurt us (people that loves him)
I am a very strong person...so many things has happen before but i never once think of taking my own life ...maybe i am chicken hearted ..ha ha
Believe me till now i have not think about it ..
I am writing this , is just that suddenly i feel so unwell ...so scare will suddenly collapse ...
Dont worry if i cont to feel unwell i will go and see doctor...
But i need to meet him 1st tonite...

给老公的一封信！！！

老公如果你爱上了别人， 与她约会时，一定不要让我的朋友看见， 让我的朋友知道后会替我难过。

老公如果你爱上了别人， 请在我亲眼看到或从他人那里得知真相以前告诉我， 让我有时间做好离开你的准备。

老公如果你爱上了别人， 不要以为我不说，就当我不知道，继续欺骗我， 还假惺惺地认为是怕伤害我的缘故，是你有良心表现。

老公如果你爱上了别人， 发现最爱的还是我，请不要对我说给你一点时间来处理你和她的问题。 这样的敷衍，如同在烈火中煎熬，还不如直截了当地放我离开。

老公如果你爱上了别人， 与我分手后，最终还是迷途知返，想回头是岸， 这时请原谅我有说不的权利。

老公如果你爱上了别人， 请立刻在我和她之间作出选择，不要犹豫不决，耽误大家的时间， 伤害太多的人。

我不迷信从一而终，但我相信执子之手， 与子偕老的童话；
我不迷信坚贞不渝，但我认为婚姻是一种责任。

有一种爱叫做放手

如果两个人的天堂 象是温馨的墙 囚禁你的梦想
幸福是否象是一扇铁窗 候鸟失去了南方
如果你对天空向往 渴望一双翅膀 放手让你飞翔
你的羽翼不该伴随玫瑰 听从凋谢的时光
浪漫如果变成了牵绊 我愿为你选择回到孤单
缠绵如果变成了锁链 抛开诺言
有一种爱叫做放手 为爱放弃天长地久
我们相守若让你付出所有 让真爱带我走
为爱结束天长地久 我的离去若让你拥有所有
让真爱带我走 说分手

A letter to Alice Teo...

Hi Alice ,
I may not know you ...it's a by chance that i read your blog !
I just wan to tell you , I too have been through alot .. althought i am still together with him but all the hurts that he has done to me again and again ..is really not what u can imagine and if u ask me then why am i still with him ? My answer is only ... 缘分未尽 , in fact i tried but it's always due to 我放不下. I can say i love him more then he loves me , even till now ..and of coz also because of i have a little one.. I know i can be better off without him but at the same time i also have to think for my son.
As for you , there are still alot of love ones beside you, who cares for you..and since he has decided to leave (I think at least he made a choice) unlike mine ...who left me hanging in the air !!! U know what i mean...and i think , u have been sorry and sad about yourself for long enough...If there is no way to make him come back to u...why not u treat yourself better...make him knows that without him , life goes on and ever happiler...
Tell yourside , if few months or ever years down the road , if he comes back to u ...tell him to get lost...and if he can leave u for another gal...the gal can also leave him for another man ...u understand...I know it's easy say then done...but it's all within the will power...
Of coz u may feel , i got the mouth to tell others but why don i let go ...
I tell you...i will ...if he decided he wans to leave !
加油！

Quit line - 1800 6668668

Listen to 100.3 this morning...quite true , if there is a gambler at home , it's no joke !
How to stay happy when u got to keep paying the debt ?
How not to get worry ?
There is a chinese saying : 男怕入错行，女怕嫁错郎。。。
还有，妈妈讲过：吃，喝，嫖，赌…的男人千万不要。
不听老人言。。
但是我就是死心眼。。爱他比爱自己还多！
When he feel troubled ... i knew i have to be there for him..although i may not be very useful to him but i guess at least i am around...
爱的深 ， 伤的也深！！！

Cool sat !!!

No swimming class for boy today because he just recover from fever and also due to raining this morning ... tot i can have so hours to sleep longer , sigh ! End up the little one wake up so early..."Mummy , wake up already , i want milk milk !"
No choice , sat and sun is my bonding day with my little one...
Sometimes looking at him , i wonder how will he grow up to be ? His character is very much like me ...gentle , soft spoken ..Think being a boy , he is too soft . I wonder did i educate him the wrong way ?
Last nite i went to airport to do see off...they are a group of P4 student going to perth for school exchange...oh my ...nowadays kids get to travel alone when they are just P4....do u know my 1st trip without parents is when i start working in travel line when i was about 19 year old...Time really change...and can u image now kids can ask for aisle seats...They are really very smart...
I wonder why kids nowadays so smart...is it due to their milk powder ? I wonder !!!

不公平！！

昨晚老公突然心血来潮的问了我, 你受不了吧？
多伤人的一句话。。。
突然提起。。是不是要等他提出分手等等。。
广东人有句话 。。“一时一样 ！”
This is him...just 12aug can laugh and joke with me but today ask me such funny questions..
An woman's six senses tells me they still in contact..still hanging in the air..
I am a woman who can go through thick and thin , even if he is poor...
But i cannot accept that his heart is with another..
He told his dad that " My wife wan to leave me liao...becoz i got no money now !"
This is a very unfair ...coz i am not like this...
Just 10 days ago he is so loving towards me and say he will treasure me and family...
10 days of happiness...now he change his idea again...
He is just someone that don know what he wans...
and he confuse me !!!
Last time during his off days...he will wake up to have breakfast with me...
But no more ... thinking of those days make me very sad...
Our dating anny is coming soon (malaysia national day)
I wan to ask for a special gift from him...that is call that woman in front of me and tell her directly to break off and no contact...
I wonder will i be getting this " gift" ?
I think it's not easy...
But if he don settle once and for all ...it's just very unfair to all 3 of us ...
I can be magnanimous but i got limit ...
Dont push me too far !!!

A man who doesn't even knows what he wans in life !!!

This is my man...till this age 30+ still don't even have a direction in his life...
U can say it's as good as hopeless ! It's actually very scarely lor...he seem like a lost child...
How to entrust myself to someone who doesn't eveh have a direction?
And the way he head...will be no where !!!
At the end of the day will be 0...

This am wake up to find my dearest boy having a fever ...
Bring him to see doc already cost me $90+...govt still ask people to have more babies...How to har ? Give birth and throw to childcare to take care...and go out to work..then at times child sick then boss not happy...u think i wan mah..what to do ? I don have a supportive husband like everyone has....He is not even a husband or a father....he is just himself ...living in his own world , with $$$ in his mind...but end up 0...
In this world..$ can't buy family life... can't buy love..but can buy sex lor...just a penny of my tots..
of coz no $ also cannot lar...
I also don know how to put it ...

小动作

Someone ever told me b4 ..from the 小动作 of your partner , you will be able to know if this
person really care about you..
If this is true then i am gone case ...
coz 他不曾为我复出过什么。。
He is too self center i guess...
As for me , i think my love for him is too deep...

好累！Age really catching up...

今天感到好累。。。好想回家睡觉！
昨晚跟一帮朋友去喝酒。。。以为不会太想他，但是没用的心还是非常想。
喝多了。。3am还起身吐个半死。。哈哈！
好笑的是, 睡在我身边的老公完全不知 ！！
看来他还是比较爱自己的那种人吧。。。
These few days i am happier.. but sometimes i will still think ..
Did he lie ..are they still together .. is he going to leave me soon...

Dedicate to my husband...

by christine glass

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home. If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home. If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home. If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home. If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home. If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home. If you ever feel ashame, my love will get you home. If its only you to blame, my love will get you home. If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home. If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home.

人真的很奇怪 ！

刚刚看了朋友的blog ...
读了后有很多感想。。。
为什么人要在失去了才后悔。。。
才来毛头指来指去！
明明是自己红性出强，还要装无辜 ！
还要说是the other party fault !!!
Does it makes u feel better by doing that ?
天是有眼的 !

接下来的路不好走！但只要有你相伴，多难走的路都难不倒我们。

昨晚频频的做恶梦。
我想是我也感到很压力，只是不想让他看见我的担忧，我的害怕。
应为他自己也已经好烦了，好没信心了。
虽然说，他是自找的，可他是我这辈子非常爱的人，我当然会心痛。
人心是用肉做的。
尽管他做了无数次对不起我的事，我心都碎了。
但他还是我爱的人。如果看见他不开心，我也会很烦。
如果有天他放弃了我们的爱，放弃了我们的家，我也只好认命，只是可怜我那天真无邪的孩子。
这个社会太多诱惑，没有定力的人就完了！

心里好乱，知道他俩还有联络，感觉好可怕。
好想再借我过桥。
如果真的望不了她，那就去她那好了，
何必一而再再而三的伤害我，让我以为你还是爱我的。
If go through so much with you , end up your heart is still with someone else ...
I will wake up ... why must you do that to me ?
Is she really so much better then me ?
Is your heart really with her ?

Now watching the final table tennis...singapore via china...
being a singaporean of coz i wish we will win.. and also becoz of the other china woman in my life... of coz i would wish our country to win hers...singapore jie you !!!
This afternoon..got my hubby starhub bill..look through it and found the woman's sin number and of coz her china no. when she is back ...can't help but feel alittle uneasy..
sometimes even wish i am blind ..
I really hope he is no longer contacting her...it just not fair to me..singapore just had too much too much china woman...and of coz hubby is also one of those horrible man...
why ? such a lovely family he don wan ...why ? what so good abt her ?
anyway these are not the right time to ask these questions...coz he got more things to settle ...
sometimes i wish i am not so soft hearted...i wish i can just leave everything behind...
but i just can't !!!

I had been marry to this guy for 7 years . Jus like normal couples we had our ups and downs ! We been through alot during these years ! But i had given out hope on him when he fell in love with another ... I wanted a divorce ! Just when i tot i had given out on him.. and mention to him that he ruin his own family.. then seeing him looking so sad...later i found out that he has met with some problems in his career ! I was heart break...I had decided to stand by him and go through this hard time together again...I may sound silly but i really still love him. I know when his trouble is over , he may go and look for the woman again but at this very moment i really feel that i can't leave him alone in the dark . Why am i the woman he choose to be when he is down.. and when he is up ...he's nowhere to find..
But he needs me now !!