Day 3

No joke...day 3 of promotion...
very stress hor...
got new quota , got new roles etc...
headache...
i guess i have to learn ...
stress stress stress.
no time to think of marriage matters at the moment.
Just have to keep my finger cross...
I know god will watch over me.

Is this a dream ...i am promoted !

Really still cannot believe that i am promoted ...to AM...
Well it follow by a stress...which mean i got to do every better
at this bad times...i really wonder...
well don think too much...
but at least i got happy things to post in my blog...finally...
today is sunday....
and i have plan a surprise for my dear little one...
had bought the little big club live concert tickets...
and i bring him to expo ...and as usual he very lo so...
kept asking me..mummy why are we here...
then when we reach the hall 2..
and when he saw the poster , he was so happy...
because he had wanted to watch it but i kept telling him ..no.
but seeing his happy face and how he enjoy and see along with them...
everything is worth it.
as for myself ... nothing much to care , nothing much to think..

sunday...me and boy day !

didn't have a good sleep last night..
2 reasons..
01) boy cough and vomit last night around 4am...
02) till now he is still not home...
when i was laying on the bed last night...
i think alot...
thinking of my new role in the office...
thinking of will the rest of the staff dislike me ?
thinking of how to take in more business for the company?
thinking of my boy ?
thinking of life alone with my boy , how is it like etc?
thinking of what a irresponsible guy i have married to...
but honestly , even if things dont work out , i dont hate him ...
i got no regrets in my marriage...because i really have put in effort to make it work.
i think during all these years i have been a great wife..
a wife that alot of guys would want ...
too bad it just didn;t work...
i cant change him ...
no such power to ...

maybe it really i gain some and at the same thing i lose some...

Good new and Bad new

The Good news is not only have i get my confirmation...
I am promoted to Asst Manager !
to me this is a very very good news ...so many years in this line,
this is a big reward...
I am very happy that the boss trust me...
They give me the trust and confident that i am able to take this role.
Times are bad ...yes.. but they have never given out hope on me.
After knowing the promote news...not sure why i dont feel like sharing the
good news with him...maybe i know him too well...do you think he will have a
celebration with me ? do you think he will share my joy ?
end up i share this joy with my mother and sister..
and of coz they are very happy for me.
seeing me smiling..what they don know is behind this smile ...
i am actually bleeding inside...
the bad news is , things are really getting out of hand and
maybe there will be a change of my life...
nothing confirm yet but i dont think i have much choices...
and the sad thing is ...my marriage is actually only worth 9k..
ha ha that is the best joke of the day right....
no need to worry about me..
i take it very easy now...
what will come , will come...

Nobody to share with...

Sigh !!!
Things seems to get a little out of hand..
Dont really know how to explain but it's just not on the correct path.
Seem like stranger living together under one roof.
leave me for good... i am thinking...
one good news but no body to tell...
i guess i will get my probation confirm very soon...
but nobody to share my good news...
maybe to him it's just a normal news...
sad !

Brain Storm

Was asked by the boss to brain storm of how to bring in more business...
can't think of any .. esp when i never take my breakfast...ha ha
today my friend is so nice ...cook glutinous rice for me to eat..
so sweet right...but too bad , boss needs me to go out with him during lunch
so no choice got to eat it for dinner then...can't wait to eat it..
coz it smell so nice...and people used the heart to cook one ok...
sad to say , i put on weight again...
stress...everytime i stress i will put on weight...
and i actually envy alice...at least she is starting her new life
and knows where she is heading to.
unlike me ...no head no tail...
to lotus..actually i miss your english blog...
i always have a kind of healing power when i read your english blog...
to ying...thanks for your encouragement ...for my case is no longer
encouragement that will keep me going...
i began to realise that one party trying hard to keep the relationship going
is very very difficult and very very not rewarding.
at the end of the day you will keep asking yourself...
is it worth it ?
even if your answer is no...what would you do ?
and really there is no body that i can really relay on at home..
no one at home is really that reponsible even if i entrust something for them to help.
example 1 ... entrust the father to help in bringing boy back from school, end up ask other children grand mother to do it...reason because that grand mother also wants to go and bring her grandson back from school...headache...to me is , i entrust something you guys please help , i am working and not playing outside ok..if i have this chance , i would want to bring him back myself...
example 2 ... letting boy wear a sleeveless shirt to a full bluzz air con class..
and end up the poor little fellow was feeling so cold...and the worse is the silly father can tell me , it is not me that pick the clothes for him...
well that shows that you can't be bother...common sense will tell you to help him bring along a jacket and come on this is not the first time he attend this class.
Ai yo ...dont know what to say lar...
they just can't let me have a peace of mind to do my work...
and is not that i am asking for too much...
this are just normal things...
is just that their heart this is not their main concern...
whatever is it...i too wish i can do all ths by myself...
but i can't go off at 6pm sharp...
and every one got a husband that they can relay on ...
but i dont have...
he cares about himself more then any other people and matters...
god bless him !

31may2009

Watched a movie with boy and husband...
monsters via aliens
boy enjoy the show and through out i can hear his laughter...
can see that he really grow up alot...
he can understand the show.
and this is our first family movie.
but too bad ..the family time only last till the show ends which is only about 1 hour +...