Weekend was peaceful..bought mooncake for mum and nanny.
Hubby even spend time with the boy ...kite flying !
This is my hubby , whenever he is down .. then he will spend time with me , boy and even accompany me to mum hsc.. not sure if i should be happy enough.
Last nite suddenly felt very uneasy , wanted so much then he can hug me to sleep but of coz never lor...
Tears feel like dropping but do not want to worry him.
Had asked him a question which i later regret that i had asked...
I ask him now that i am with his side to go through this hard ship together , does he has confidence that we both will have happy ending together and he will not have another woman...
His answer is very clear cut ...he say no confidence...it really just leave me wonder then what is the point of me going through the hard times together...i don feel appreciate , really !
Life with hubby is really full of ups and downs...so much that sometimes my heart cannot stand it...
Maybe he feel that it's best that i can leave him ... (I am not very sure what he thinks...)
My personal problem really is affecting my job ...i dont mean it , but i really cannot concentrate.
Everyday worry about his problem...everyday thinking where to find more $...
I know at the end of the day , it's really he himself that can help himself...and i know very well that he will never stop gamble...he will ... when he has the $ again.
Feel that he never have the time for me to talk about my emotional...last time when i wanted to talk about it , he is not interested ...coz he is more interested in those women outside...now that he is down , he is still not interested to hear me out coz he has got problems to face...
When will i ever have a chance to talk about myself...
I came from a family that dont drink , don bet...but i married into a family that smokes , drink and bet...do u know the pressure that i am facing...
I have never face $ problem but do u know the stress that i have to face when i am now in debt ...
When i pass him the $ ..he has never ask me where the $ come from....
Does it bore him ? Have he ever ask do i still have the $ to pay for boy school fee ?
This question just come into my mind today...it's worth the waiting ?
But i really don have the heart to leave him at the current moment...How can i ?
When he is feeling so down in his life....
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