What is important ?

Today i give myself 50 marks ...(just pass)
Coz feel like posting about him again...
but i still pass myself because my feeling abit differ from my older post..hee hee

He did not come home last nite(until now no sound from him)
Think drunk...mayb sleep by the road side or motel or hotel..
I start to think that we are really different...
He seems much happier when he is with his friends..
But when face me he feel the stress...
Coz i would tell him to go work , talk to him not to go gamble , ask him to stay more at home etc..
I have change myself just yesterday as not to everyday show black face etc...
I smile , i laugh...i joke..but end up he feel that i only think of play , play , play when he
is so stress in paying his debt...funny right..he is the one who tell me 做人要开心..siow

The best part is ...i have a very very nice and peaceful sleep...which i normal don't , i will
always wait for him to reach home b4 i sleep...
Ha ha ...maybe i was thinking if being together but feeling stress then no point...
Am i setting myself free ?
Am i able to free myself very soon ?
I don't know but i believe god knows...

Last time i always dress up just to impress him...
But today i doll myself up...although he did not get a chance to see me this am...
But i feel great ...even in the MRT i feel confident , so what if hubby dont care or concern..

I used to think...he is the most important person in my life...
I live for him...
I feel sad with him
I feel happy with him
but what is the point...he don even know how to treasure ppl around him...

But i must thank him for adding alot of colours to my life...
He really show me the "world" , and the ride of "roller coaster" of our life...
and because of him i understand myself more ...i realise that i can be such a crazy person
that can give out pride and alot alot of things just for the person i love...

I wan to tell myself...don keep looking back ...don keep thinking how we go through all the
hardship together etc...
The true is as times goes by human will change...
he no longer appreciate those days
no longer appreciate how i forgive him once and again...
He is no longer the person he used to be...
I don regret getting married to him...but i have to love myself and my boy more...

现在的他很不长进。。很烂赌 。。很让人失望。。