Hate weekends !!!

Today mood was bad ... face very black !
I hate weekends...coz no need to work then i will have so many time to think of
those things that will upset me...

This house that we bought 7 years ago...it's suppose to be my dream hsc..
Although it's just a HDB flat...but it's consider big and windy...
Love at 1st sight , lovely house...
Who knows after purchasing the hsc, in law intend to stay with us...Sigh !
So before even i move in , they move in one year b4 me...
then of coz i can't have the design of my own..
Well to me this is not the most important...
The thing that upset me is...this is call a house and not a home...
Nobody has a sense of belonging...
No love in this house...

Everyday both in laws spend more time downstairs playing cards..
Esp father in law...only comes home to eat , bath and shit...

Weekend even worse...all they know is horse , $$$ etc
Shit house rite..
This is the kind of up bringing in their family...
I hope , i wish , i pray that my only son will not grow up to be like them...
That also explain why i am know more fierce towards my son ,
I hope one day he will understand that mummy meant good to him.

Today 2 of my friends told me they are having their second baby...
Yes i am happy for them , but at the same time i am sad for myself...
How i wish i had a husband who knows how to think...
Who cares about the family more then himself...
He is just living in his small small world , with himself , horses , women , drinks and $..
If he is sensible enough .. i would have more then one kid...
I too wish for a daughter but really...with this kind of hubby , i dare not !
I already regret to bring boy to this world...how can i make the same mistake again ?

At least one good news for the day ...mum talk better today...
Later going over to her house and spend the nite there...really hope i won't step on mines again.

I think my boss also stress by me...ha ha ...
just now he called to say dream of me bring 4 luggage to his house asking for a place to stay.
He is not a person that understand me very well...but he care abt like a daughter...
He is a very homely person , who love his wife and daughter very much...
a very down to earth person...

So far there isnt anyone that really understands me...
10 years ago , i tot my boy friend who is currently my husband...really understands me..
Well like what i post before...he has change..
no longer the person that i once know....