Cool and Calm..

To my own surprise ...
I was cool and calm...
A bit calm till i myself is scare.
I went to see someone but end up getting myself more confuse.
I start to feel ,i can't trust anyone esp myself..
sometime cannot even trust myself...
something scary happen last nite ...
i wont put into words of what actually happens
but i can only say i am scare ...very scare at that moment.
if this cont ...one of these day i will go crazy.
i really hope he can change.
is turning over a new leaf so difficult ?
is that my only way out ?
why there are so many this kind of cases around...
but everyone got one problem,
but i guess i am "lucky"...because i have all the problems...
and yes ... now not even god can help me...
and the crazy thing is ...i can even be so calm till i think of cooking
ginseng chicken soup tomorrow...
why am i so calm ?